Life = Head + Brick Wall

I tried, I really did, but it's just not gonna work.

As much as I love EvE, my life continues to get more, not less, busy. Another of my articles was picked up, this time by a media outlet that's outside of my usual circles and readership. As a writer, this is a pretty big deal for me and something I'm hoping will pay real dividends in the future if it continues. As a gamer, it means I'm going to have even less time to play than I have over the last month or so. It's not the game that's the problem, it's the time commitment and the fact that in order to do anything in EvE right now I need fellow corpmates to be around when I can play. Since my schedule is currently as fucked up as it is with not only no end currently in sight, but likely to get even busier as times goes on, I've made the decision to leave the game, again, this time probably for good or at least for the foreseeable future.

I feel like shit having to do this. I was just really starting to get back into it again when all this jumped off, cool new corp and corpies, new areas of 0.0, all that. I was excited to begin seeing all the parts of New Eden I hadn't gotten a chance to see before. Now, because as always the concerns of real life must trump gaming life (at least for most of us who are, in fact, stable and relatively sane), I find myself forced to leave EvE not because I don't love and enjoy playing it, but simply because it just doesn't comfortably fit into my life as it is right now.

I came to this realization a few days ago, when I'd come to understand that in the immediate future my RL workload will be such that I'm not going to be able to log in reliably on any sort of regular schedule that will likely allow me to be on when most or perhaps even any of my corpmates will be available. These days, most of my gaming takes place in the wee hours of the morning...that is, when I have a chance to play at all.

Given all this, it just doesn't make sense to keep paying for a subscription to a game that I can't find time to play 90% of the time, and it's not fair to my corpmates who are on far more often than I am and should be able to expect me to contribute on a regular basis as well.

Ok, now I'm gonna hit you with the second part of this decision: I'm leaving EvE, but I'm not leaving MMO's entirely. I'm going to be playing Star Trek Online, at least for now. The reason is that because STO is mission-based I can log in pretty much whenever I have time, go do a mission or two, and then log out. The teams form automatically so I don't have to worry about making sure corpies are in-game (it's amazing how many players are logged in and doing STO missions at 4am eastern time, even in beta...this game is gonna be frakking huge!).

And one thing I will admit as far as gameplay goes: I like the space combat in STO better than EvE. It has more of a hands-on, arcade-style feel to it, and that works for me. It definitely still needs some work (STO is still in beta, after all), but I just find it more engaging and easier to master.

Despite that, though, the key reason I'm leaving EvE is the time factor. If I had the time, I'd likely subscribe to and play both games, but I barely have time to play one game right now, much less two.

What really annoys me is that I've tried to log into EvE for the last two days but couldn't, even though my account indicates that my access will be suspended as of tomorrow. The reason it's important is because just before things got crazy my corp CEO gave me a pile of ISK to buy stuff, and I wanted to return that to him. It's not fair that I should just bail out and cost the corp money as a result. I tried twice to log in over the last couple of days with no success. The first time, the game just locked up on me and I could log in but it never actually started the game so I could access anything, it just hung endlessly right before that point. When I tried again today, my login credentials no longer work. That sux...another reason I feel like a jerk. Now there's no way I can give the ISK back unless I get one of those come back free for five days offers from CCP.

Crap.

Report From The Final Frontier:

Let's state the obvious right up front: Star Trek Online is a shitload of fun. There are still more than a few bugs to be squashed, but I'm having as much fun with this game as I've ever had in EvE. It's far from perfect, and nowhere near as polished as EvE, but as long as I keep telling myself "It's beta, it's beta.." I can deal with it because I haven't run into any truly game-breaking-level bugs as yet.

The combat targeting system desperately needs to be refined. Right now you can't target a ship that's not actually on-screen, even if it's right behind you and pelting you with torpedoes. The extra time it takes to swing your camera around so you can target the attacking ship can often spell the difference between success and failure in combat, especially when you're dealing with a battleship or something significant, but need to take out their much faster but less powerful escorts first.

While certainly classic and expected problems for any game in beta, server overload and lag are also major problems right now. There are times when simply being able to log into STO seems to require a level of luck akin to winning the lottery. Once logged in, it's common to find lag-related issues such as beaming down to a starbase as a ship instead of your human form or vice-versa and having to wait a little while until the server catches up and transforms you to your proper form. These issues really don't bother me all that much at this stage, though they certainly are annoying to deal with. It's only when we're paying for the right to play that I feel players have a right to complain about this kind of thing. Once I'm playing on my own dime, though, I expect I'll be far less forgiving on that score.

It's obvious that Cryptic took great care with the game lore to make it interesting and in synch with established Star Trek canon. The graphics are amazing and truly convey the feeling of being part of an episode of Star Trek. It makes me happy as a Star Trek fan and it makes me happy as a gamer. If Cryptic keeps the game at this level of quality and attractiveness to ST fans, I still believe that this game, more than just about any I've seen released or heard of in development, could actually rise to the level of WoW-killer or close to it.

Not that I think STO could put WoW out of business, mind you, but I do think we could easily see this game rise to a comparable number of subscribers. Speaking as one myself, I say do not underestimate the Trekkie factor. I expect that many people who have never played or cared about MMOs before will sign up for this game in droves just because it's Star Trek. That's the one thing that games like EvE and WoW, as good as they may be, will never be able to match STO in, a set of long-established lore presented in a variety of different media that's so beloved by so many that it actually has a life of its own and the game will gain many players who just love the Star Trek experience no matter what type of media it's presented in.

Is STO an EvE-killer? I doubt it, but I bet it puts a dent in their subscriber totals. Time will tell I suppose, but mark my words, STO is going to be a major player in MMO gaming.

And Now We Say...Goodbye?

Well, yes and no. Yes, I'm saying goodbye to EvE, at least for the foreseeable future, but that doesn't mean I'm saying goodbye to blogging (if you're interested in what I write away from the game, at least some of it, you can find many of my non-gaming articles here).

I'm considering a number of options:

1. Turning this blog into an STO blog.

2. Dropping this one and starting an entirely new STO blog.

3. Starting to post regularly on STO at MMORPG.com or a similar site.

4. Giving myself a break from blogging on gaming altogether until my life calms down a little.

At this point, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do, but suggestions are welcome. Post your thoughts in the comments, I'll see 'em.

This isn't a choice I've made easily or happily. It's a choice I've made because the responsibilities of my real life demand it, and there's no other way to make it work.

If you're in STO, you can look me up and maybe we can fly together sometime. I go by my original MMO name, the one I originally created when I first started playing EvE a few years ago, Bekka Jai (note the spelling). I like the name (it's a kind of "sci-fi-ification" of my real name), and so I'm reviving it in STO as a tribute to the first MMO I ever fell in love with. As far as the blog goes, I'll see what readers have to say on what they'd like to see and what my schedule will allow, and then I'll make a decision.

To all of you who have been reading this blog and sharing it with others, thank you. You have honored me with your readership and attention. I hope you'll share your thoughts on what path I should take on my future MMO/gaming blogging, and I hope you'll join me if and when I begin blogging about STO.

To all the friends I've made during my time in EvE, thanks for being there. I'll miss you as much as the game itself, so please let's look to find each other again in whatever universes we play in in the future. It's you folks that make EvE not just another video game, but a truly special and wonderful place to spend some time. Thank you so very much for that.

And now, for perhaps the last time ever, I'll say it just once more as I warp off into the sunset:

Fly Safe,

Bekka Jai

More From the Void

No, I'm not dead, but my life is just insane right now.

Instead of calming down as I expected, things have heated up like never before. There's just been no way to think about anything else for the last few weeks. I haven't even had the time (or needed access) to change skills. Now, it looks like I may finally get a weekend to myself for the first time in a while.

Eve time, right? Um, well, no. Y'see, I have this Star Trek Online closed beta key I just got and, well, seems like kind of a shame to, um...oh who the fuck am I kidding? I can't wait to see what STO looks like! Eve can totally wait a while, this is new, it's exciting, and above all, it's Star Trek! I need to see what this is all about. I'm sure the gods of New Eden will forgive me.

Right now, I have the time to sit here and write because it's taking a while for STO to patch, going on a couple of hours of downloading and it's only about half-done. Oh well...I'm from a generation that's used to waiting on line. I waited six hours on line in the rain just to see my favorite band, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and that was just a couple of years ago. Of course, that may not be the best example because there's a lot I'd put up with to be front row center for Joan Jett.

Compared to that, this is a cakewalk, sitting here in my comfy chair, waiting for STO to finish patching so I can log in. Is this what all those people who signed up for AION felt like?

Sad thing is, come Monday it may all start all over again, right now I have no clue. Tonight, though, we explore the Federation.

"Space, the Final Frontier..."

Greetings From The Void

Um, hiya.

Yeah, I know it's been a few weeks, but RL is still kicking my butt right now. This is totally unanticipated, by the way. In fact, this is usually a slow time of year for me in RL. Now it's like I don't have time to do much more than pop in-game occasionally to chat with corpmates and change skills. I want to do more, a lot more, but I just don't have the time right now. I think I've written more in the last three weeks than I did in the six months previous. Un-frakkin'-believable. I thought this was going to be over by the middle of the week, but it just isn't. It's finally slowing though, so maybe I was just off by a few days. I hope so.

I also did something else. I preordered the Collector's Edition of Star Trek Online from Amazon with the Borg Officer bonus. I had to do it. I love Star Trek too much not to at least give it a shot. Because of my preorder purchase, I get to participate in open beta next month. I'm assuming that by then I'll be long since back to my normal, boring winter life with much more time to play MMO's, but if I do like STO I may eventually face a decision like I did with Fallen Earth. EvE won that one, but STO is still basically an unknown quantity. STO would have to be pretty damned amazing to tempt me away from EvE, and thus far I haven't seen enough of STO to convince me that would be the case. It does look interesting and engaging with is why I preordered, but I'm not yet convinced it's a long-term keeper. I liked Champions at first glance too, but the reality of playing it wasn't enough to keep me interested long-term. STO will have to prove itself to me. The Star Trek franchise is a great start but it's not enough.

Right now, I don't see myself leaving EvE for STO, but then I also didn't see myself leaving Fallen Earth to come back to EvE, so who knows?

The Pause Button

I'm doing something right now that I bet a lot of MMO players have done, no matter what game they happen to be playing: I'm not playing EvE right now because I have a friend coming over who probably would not understand why I might not be able to just stop playing instantaneously. You know the kind of person I'm talking about, don't you? Yes, it's that techno-ignorant friend or family member who says "Can't you just put it on pause?". It's the kind of person who thinks they know all there is to know about video games because they've played video tennis with a friend on their Wii.

The truth is that it's just easier not to be playing when he arrives then it is to explain why I need to take a few minutes before shutting down. There's also the fact that if I'm able to log in later tonight I'll have a lot to do and probably not much time to do it. There's a lot to do for Thanksgiving, and that will definitely cut into or maybe even eliminate my in-game time tonight and tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll be able to spend at least a little time in-game tonight and maybe tomorrow night late, but really at this point I don't know if I'll be able to. Hey, it's the holidays.

I find this kind of thing is still true even with instant messenger. Many people don't get that ending a chat is much the same as saying goodbye when hanging up the phone and don't understand why I can't just shut down the computer. I suspect that as time goes on and computers and cellphones continue to merge this will become less and less of an issue for most people, but right now there are still a lot of people who don't perceive online communication as real. That goes not only for instant messenger, but also for online games.

What sucks is that I'm anxious to get on with my new life in 0.0, but RL is just getting in the way right now. This will all be over Friday though, and then I'll really be able to start getting into it...maybe even late tomorrow night if I'm really lucky.

A Fine and Lovely Morning...

I finished Empyrean Age this morning over coffee. I enjoyed it a lot and now that I'm done with it, I'll be reading those news stories I haven't read yet and probably going to check out some of the results. I must admit that I find this really interesting, perhaps even a completely new way of telling a story. It's fascinating to me that the results of what I just read in a novel can be actually traveled to and seen for oneself in the game.

A novel, a self-contained sci-fi story, that actually happens in "reality" in an MMO, with events you can actually witness for yourself as they happen and which carry lasting changes for that world. This, my fellow capsuleers, is truly the cutting edge of fiction storytelling and of sci-fi in particular (where readers/players/viewers are generally much more receptive overall to such innovations than the average media consumer).

This might not seem like such a big deal to some, but consider this: Until now, virtually all fictional media has been, generally speaking, originally presented in one format or another, with almost all of the crossover coming between print and film or television. In sci-fi, and particularly in media based on well-established franchises such as Star Trek, there is always the issue of which stories are considered "canon", part of the established "official" history of the franchise. These are generally arguments for the fanboy faithful, but the rule until now seems to have always been that if the story was told on television or in film then it's considered canon, but if the story appears solely in print or in a videogame, it's generally not.

What makes EvE: Empyrean Age so innovative and groundbreaking is that it actually eliminates the fourth wall and brings EvE players actually into the story itself. The events of the book are indeed canon and the results of those events are physically manifest within the game. In this way, even players who were not playing at the time these events occurred within the game (like me) are drawn into the scenario as well as they must deal with the repercussions of the events in the book just as every player must.

More than just breaking down the fourth wall, though, CCP goes even further here and gives the events and results of the novel a 3-D existence within the game that players can visit and interact with. I know of no other sci-fi franchise that's ever done this (and no, I'm not counting Lord of the Rings, which has been done and redone to death, to the point of torturous boredom).

From a player/media consumer perspective, this is the first sci-fi novel I've ever read that "matters" in a significant way to the universe it presents beyond its own pages. It changes the way I perceive the book, and it might even influence how I play the game in the future in some way.

I think a big part of why this could be done with EvE but not with a media monolith like Star Trek is that there's just too much Star Trek media already out there in every format to keep it all coordinated to start adding additional canon in more than just dribs and drabs.

EvE, first and foremost, is the game. Other media comes from and is based on the game, not the other way around as with LotRO. In addition, there's a lot less canon established in EvE than in a 44-year-old franchise like Star Trek, and so there's a lot more they can do in terms of shaking things up and taking risks with the overall story arc.

What I'm now most interested in seeing is not only the physical results of Empyrean Age, but also how/if the next novel (now apparently due out in March) will play out within the game. One thing is for certain, I won't miss this one.

Oh and hey, in another hour or so I'll be heading to Best Buy to pick up my PC. As you might imagine, I'm very much looking forward to that. Hmmm, I've been writing this post for so long that it's not even morning any more.

Soon, soon...online life will return to normal. Eight days without my PC (and without EvE) is just too freaking long.

Ok How Weird Is This?

Or is it weird at all?

According to Amazon's website, my copy of EvE: Empyrian Age should be arriving today, the same day as my copy of...wait for it...Windows 7.

Yes, I took the plunge back in June and got the discounted upgrade. I don't know if I'd have been willing to pay full price for it, but for fifty bucks the promised improved gaming performance is worth it. Not that my PC isn't a pretty damned great gaming machine right now, especially compared to what it replaced, but anything that lets me squeeze out a little more performance from this new PC and especially anything that gets the kind of rave reviews Windows 7 has been getting is worth at least a moderate investment.

So I'm sitting at home waiting for these things to arrive. It's actually great timing, or at least I hope it will be. I'm told this will be a long install so at least I'll have fresh reading material handy. It also means I should probably go into EvE and update my skill que before I start the upgrade.

What I'm really most interested to see is if there's any noticeable difference in EvE after the upgrade. I'll let ya know.

When I first started playing EvE, I was on a single-core 2.0ghz PC with a lower-range video card which barely met the minimum specs for the game. Now I'm on a quad-core 3.0ghz PC that exceeds all of EvE's recommended specs by a pretty good margin. In some ways, it literally makes all the difference in the world, but they're often the kind of differences that you don't notice unless you have something better to compare it to.

For me the game is now smooth as silk, in a way that I never experienced when I played two years ago. While I haven't yet gone anywhere with an overload of ships in the same place like Jita since I've been back, I also haven't yet experienced anything more than the slightest hint of lag anywhere in the game since I've been back. How much is my machine, how much is server-side improvements by CCP, I have no idea. All I know is that the game looks and plays better for me than ever before and that's definitely part of what drew me back in.

And so here I sit, waiting for my new toys.

Hmm, I just realized...I haven't been in Fallen Earth in three days. I've been spending all of my available gaming time in EvE.

Funny that.

Space: The Final Frontier?

No, not in this game, anyway. With the coming of walking in stations, EvE is not going to be expanding outward as much as inward, giving pilots a more human presence outside of their ships, with more than just a headshot icon to represent their human aspects. It's an interesting concept, and one I think is inevitable in order for this game to really add a new dimension to it. Not only that, but it seems to be an absolute prerequisite in order to stay competitive with what's coming soon in the MMORPG market.

Star Trek Online has posted its first devblog and the screenshots are absolutely stunning. This game will have planets that can be landed on, with terrain that's as just as realistic as you'd expect. It seems that right from the very start STO will offer players much more human-oriented experience than EvE currently does, which seems right in concert with what ST fans have come to expect in all aspects of the Trek legend.

Right now, EvE is more about the greater universe and the various ways to manipulate it, with the true human element of the game being the interaction between the players themselves, rather than the characters. Right now, that's limited to text or audio chat, while the true in-game player-to-player gameplay interaction really isn't person-to-person but ship-to-ship.

In some ways, I think this is kind of unique and interesting, but in others, maybe not so much. There's a certain detachment that comes with the lack of a real in-game human element, something that it appears STO will have in abundance. If you're an EvE loyalist as I am and expect to continue to be one for a long time, be afraid, be very afraid...if the actual game is even half as good as what's been released so far, STO is going to kick major ass.

EvE does have certain major advantages, of course. For one thing, it's long past the beta stage...the game has evolved into one with major political players, alliances, wars, a depth that seems absolutely unequaled in other games. It's going to take a significant amount of time before STO even approaches that level. And yet, it's Star Trek, and that might well make all the difference. Even so, STO is still in fairly early stages of its development, so by the time it does actually debut EvE will be even further evolved than it is now. It's also interesting to note that comparisons between the two games have already started in the gaming press, with EvE apparently being held up as the standard by which STO will be judged, as well it should be.

It's clear to me, and probably to CCP and anyone else involved with EvE in any capacity, that STO, when it finally debuts, is going to exceed EvE's playerbase in size faster than you can say "Engage!". That much, I think, is pretty much a given. The real question is whether EvE will survive it and for how long. Personally, I suspect that if STO draws the same kind of playerbase as WoW does, New Eden will continue to be a safe(r) haven for more mature and sophisticated sci-fi MMORPG players. If that's the case, chances are everyone wins.

Fingers crossed...

Four Years Is A Long Time...

...a heck of a lot longer than I've been playing EVE, that's for sure. Four years ago, I don't think I even knew what an MMOG was, much less that I might be interested in playing one.

It's funny how, looking back now, my concept of video games was so different. I was still in the mindset that such a game had a beginning, a middle, and an end, much like an interactive book or movie that allows the player to participate in, but not dictate, what happens next. I played things like sports sims, games based on movies like Spider-Man, LOTR, and Star Trek (yes, I admit it, dyed in the wool Trekkie here), and silly little games like solitaire and online poker.

Really, it was Everquest which changed my perception of what a video game could be. I was (and still am) extremely interactive online in other aspects of my life, so discovering a game that combined these two things was quite a find for me. In addition, the idea of a game that didn't really end, even though EQ did have content that one played through before moving on, was also quite new to me.

I lasted about six months with Everquest, but grew tired of it after a while. In all honesty, it was a few things that led to my losing interest and eventually canceling my account:

1. Grind, grind, grind....fun at first, boring later. Once I'd reached a point where I had to keep repeating the same content over and over in order to accomplish certain goals, I'd also reached the point where I started becoming disenchanted with EQ as a game in general.

2. The people. Some were terrific folks, others, not so much. I discovered that I dislike playing with children...or, at least, those who act like children. While that's certainly something likely to be found in most MMOG's, some apparently have it worse than others. Eventually, I just got tired of playing with people who acted like it was middle school recess in the schoolyard.

3. The content. Sure, much of it was interesting, but I've never been that big a fan of a medieval swords and sorcery kind of theme, and this game was clearly Dungeons and Dragons brought to life in video. Fun for a while, but only for a while.

4. The price. Just too damn expensive. Not only do these people bang you for a monthly fee, but they make you pay again every time they create a new content expansion for the game. After paying for two expansions over the six months I played, I just refused to shell out any more money, and it bothered me that despite all the money I'd paid into this game, I still didn't have access to all of it. While that may be standard operating procedure for most of these games, to me it just felt like a ripoff.

5. The game in concept as a whole. It just always seemed to me that there were parts of the game I'd never see without years of preparation and literally hundreds of friends to help me get there. It really seemed like there was a distinct line between those who would have access to such content and those who'd never see it regardless of how well they personally did in the game as individual players. You can guess, I'm sure, which group I felt myself to belong to. I just couldn't realistically see myself investing the hours necessary to reach that point, and even if I did, there was no guarantee that I'd be able to join a guild that would be capable of taking it on.

The first time I tried EVE, just before I signed up for EQ, I really wasn't all that impressed with many aspects of it. While I loved the concept and the theme, it just seemed like it was too hard to progress, too easy to die, and too hard to recover once you did die. I signed up for the free trial, but only lasted about a week before I became frustrated with it, seemingly just getting blown away by gatecampers over and over and...to be honest, after a week of this it just wasn't lot of fun. Still, there were certain aspects to EVE that I absolutely loved, if only...

So, I signed up and did my six months with EQ. I really don't regret it because the experience helped me to understand what I like and don't like about MMOG's, what's important to me as a player, what isn't, and what I wanted more of, enough that I was willing to pay for it.

I know myself well enough to know exactly the point when I determined for certain that my time as an EQ player was coming to an end. It was right after EQ released yet another expansion to great fanfare, and I realized I just couldn't afford to buy another one. I resolved to play what I had, that the original game plus two paid expansions should be plenty to keep me occupied for at least a while. The problem was that all roads seemed to lead to this new expansion and the new gameplay features that came with it. The marketing push was quite heavy and I found myself resenting it. By the time my next monthly EQ payment became due, I'd already decided I was done with the game and was actively looking for something else to play.

I didn't come back to EVE right away. Instead I played dumb but fairly fun little games like solitaire, poker, and even a sword and sorcery Java thing called Adventure Quest for a few months. None of the other MMOG's I checked out fired my interest enough to bother even trying them. I found myself purchasing games like "Rise of Nations", "Civilization", and "Runaway", but none of these held my interest long. And then, one day, I was leafing through a video game magazine and saw an ad for EVE.

It was like the proverbial light bulb winked on. I remembered how I'd loved the concept, the graphics, and the gameplay, but kept getting my ass kicked. I also remembered that I'd made some colossally huge mistakes during my first time playing and that, thanks to major fines levied by CONCORD for transporting contraband, my original character was several million ISK in the hole. I decided that the best way to try EVE again would be to do the free trial again with a brand-new character and just completely start over from scratch.

In all honesty, I was still wary. Remembering my first experience, I expected to be blown away with regularity again, but I figured that since I knew it was likely to happen perhaps I could at least prevent it from happening as frequently. The first thing I decided to do, before I even signed up and created a character, was read...everything. I read the entire 300+ page collected backstory, then the entire player guide. I went to the forums and read plenty there as well, especially the stuff intended for new players, where I discovered Eve University. Armed with all this mostly new knowledge, I then signed up for the free trial and created a new character.

I noticed the difference right away. The gatecampers were gone. I discovered that this was probably due to the introduction of "Warp to 0", which had been one of the many improvements implemented while I was gone. After screwing around for a few days, mainly just checking things out and watching the conversation in the "Rookie" chat, I decided to join E-Uni and get started on really getting good at playing this game. I've never looked back since.

It's been around four months now, and I've never regretted my decision to sign up for an entire year after only a couple of weeks of playing. Sure, I've had issues with certain corps (one in particular ;)) and their play styles, but never with being a player of this game. It's been tough, even frustrating at times, but never boring and always fun. Unlike EQ, I've never not wanted more.

That's really the best thing about EVE, the thing I tell people when they ask me why I play this game. It always keeps me interested, engaged, and wanting more. When you think about it, that's really the best compliment you can pay to any entertainment media: It keeps you wanting more.

And speaking of wanting more, it's time to go change my skill training and maybe take on a few more missions...

Happy 4th birthday, EVE.