"Gay" Is NOT A Dirty Word!

Since I started playing EvE and writing this blog back in February, I've always made it a policy to keep my RL and in-game realities as separate as possible. With only just a few minor chips here and two major dents on the E-O and E-Uni forums inflicted on that wall over that time, I think I've done a fairly good job of it. Now, however, real life and EvE life have suddenly crashed into each other so directly and significantly that I feel I can no longer rationalize maintaining that wall any longer, that to do so, to remain silent and uninvolved, would be in direct conflict with the values I believe in and live my life by. And so, the wall has to come down now and it has to come down hard. Bear with me as I grab my sledgehammer and hang on. This is going to get messy.

I came this realization late last night, when I logged into EvE and read an MOD (Message Of the Day) as I checked to see who was in the GLBTA chat. Our moderator was furious about something and offered a link. Since the link didn't work in the IGB, I copied it, logged out, pasted it into my browser, and found myself at the third page of an E-O forum discussion thread. At first, I wasn't quite sure what was so upsetting to Nealla that he'd post such an angry message, so I went back to the first post and read all three pages of comments, but I still didn't quite get it until the final post from an ISD forum moderator put a capper on it for me.

The thread was titled "Any other Homosexuals playing EVE and upset at CCP support?". The original post was from a newly-out gay player who was upset at the blocking of certain words from the E-O forums. He asked why words such as "gay", "lesbian", or even as commonly used and relatively inoffensive as "crack" were blocked. Even though I hadn't felt the question important enough to address publicly, it was certainly easy to understand why he and other players clearly feel otherwise. After reading the full thread from beginning to end, I decided that I too could do no less.

As I came to the end of the thread, a post by ISD forum moderator Jacques Archambault caused me to from from curious and mildly annoyed to downright furious, completely offended, and completely in concert with Nealla's feelings on the subject. It reads:

Please do not discuss issues regarding sexual orientation and adult content on the forums. We understand that many people feel strongly about this and inevitably a heated discussion arises between both sides. In the interest of maintaining peace and keeping the EVE-Online Forums a pleasant place to visit for everyone (irrespective of gender, sexual orientation, race, culture etc.), we kindly request to discuss adult themes outside of the EVE-Online Forums. Please understand that we have a teen 13+ rating and these kind of adult topics do not belong on the EVE-Online Forums.

As always, if there are any questions regarding forum moderation, please feel free to email the EVE-Online Forum Moderator Team at mods@ccpgames.com.

-Jacques

And now, I've got my sledgehammer hefted and ready to go because it's time to tell you why this post made me see red.

Let's just get the basics out of the way right up front. I'm a transsexual woman. I was born male and lived in that gender for the first thirty-five years of my life. I've lived and identified as a woman and as a lesbian for the last ten and a half years. Both of these identities, as well as others I choose to label myself with, are integral to who I am and how I see myself. I could no more separate myself from them than I could change my skin color or my personal life history.

I take pride in who I am and how I live my life, despite the opinions of others who feel I have no right to do so. While my gender identity and sexual orientation were not conscious choices, my acceptance of words such as "gay", "lesbian", "queer", and others to define myself to other people certainly was. Labels, as opposed to orientations, certainly are consciously chosen. They are a way for people who's lives and outlooks on life differ significantly from that which is considered the norm can express to other people their pride in that difference, in their identities, and in themselves. They are the way we begin the process of helping others to understand who we are, what matters to us, and how we live our lives.

This is, as you might imagine, a pretty big deal for many of us, especially for those like the original thread poster, those who have only recently come to accept some of these labels and identities as their own. Hollismason was understandably upset that the very word he chose to define himself with, a word which is so commonly used it appears in most dictionaries and all over popular media would be banned from even so much as being mentioned in a public discussion area. As saddening as that is, though, I completely understand and share the anger and outrage so many Queer EvE players must have felt when Jacques said, in essence, that even simply the very mention of his chosen identity is considered by ISD to be derogatory and offensive. While I doubt it was intentional, Jacques further increased the level of offense by telling this young gay man that this action was taken in the interest of protecting children.

The rest of ISD's argument is even less credible. Jacques contends that the E-O forums have a "teen 13+" rating. Does ISD really believe teenagers have never heard words like "gay" and "lesbian" in common usage, or they would be somehow negatively impacted by seeing them in print? Considering what passes muster in video games rated "Teen" these days, the very idea is absolutely ludicrous.

Jacques also cites "maintaining peace" and keeping the E-O forums "a pleasant place for everyone (irrespective of gender, sexual orientation, race, culture etc.)" as reasons for the ban. The implications made here are nothing short of out and out anti-gay bigotry. The inference clearly made here is that simply the very inclusion of these non-heterosexual identities on the E-O forums would be considered offensive and unwelcome in and of themselves, devoid of any actual offensive context in which they might be used. In my opinion, the fact that words which directly describe a person's sexuality are censored but those which might describe the other aspects of human identity Jacques cites are not effectively puts the lie to this line of reasoning.

Given the evidence, there is no question here that banning these words are a direct, specific, and intentional suppression of gay and lesbian identity within the E-O forums. If this policy were universal in all aspects of EvE, it might be arguable that CCP simply felt the best way to deal with the issue was to completely eliminate it from the game universe across the board. It would still not be right in my opinion, but at least the policy would be consistent. As anyone who's played EvE for a while knows well, that simply isn't the case.

This is a game where alcohol, tobacco, firearms, and illegal drugs are traded as commodities, where violence, death, war, crime, and other happenings usually considered not-so-pleasant or even tragedies in real life not only occur regularly, but are considered the most entertaining aspects of the gameplay. It's a game universe where the Minmitar Gay Rights League roams the spaceways and where a chat called GLBTA (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Accepting) can be joined in-game. To allow players this level of freedom in-game but then deny it to us in the discussion forums indicates that the erasure of non-heterosexual identities is a decision made and enforced by the ISD forum moderators, not by the designers of the actual game itself. That places the responsibility for this censorship and for the anti-gay bigotry behind it not on CCP, but squarely on the shoulders of the ISD forum moderators.

Sexuality not only isn't an adult topic, but one which every teenager confronts and explores during their adolescence. Indeed, it isn't really sexuality that's being banned here, it's valid and accepted non-heterosexual identities which are being censored through the filtering of the words which define them. Does ISD really believe that every teenager who plays EvE or participate in the forums is straight? What about the right of gay and lesbian teens (not to mention gay and lesbian adults) to feel welcome and respected on the forums? Do they even care? As far as I can detect, the answer is a rather clear and direct "No.".

When you think about it, you realize that there's really no other possible reason than the homophobia of ISD moderators for filtering these words out of the E-O forum discussions. These words have perfectly valid and acceptable uses in polite conversation, it is solely their connections to non-heterosexual identities which are offered as the reason for their being filtered. Since these words are so commonly used and accepted in all aspects of real-world discourse but even those uses are disallowed in order to prevent even the possibility of their being used to describe non-heterosexual identities, the homophobia and discomfort of the ISD staff are clearly the true motivators at play here.

It's not an issue of context, as it should be. Of course, these words and others like them can be used to disparage and offend, but in order to truly prevent that CCP would have to take down the forum and ban all discussion. Those who are looking to treat others badly and express their hatred and bigotry toward those they don't like will certainly find ways to do so, without or without using those specific words. When such things do happen on the E-O forums, the ISD staff is quite diligent in editing and removing offensive posts and in sanctioning those responsible.

Yet, it seems that when it comes to EvE's queer players and our own rights to define and describe ourselves accurately within the limits of polite conversation, ISD apparently doesn't feel that we're entitled to the same benefit of the doubt, or even of the same level of effort to protect us from the the use of these words as attacks against us and the ways in which we live our lives. Rather than make the same kind of proactive effort in this regard they consistently make when other forum discussion guidelines are broken, when it comes to gay and lesbian players ISD uses only a computer-controlled, automatic gag filter to simply eliminate our identities from all forum discussions. Apparently, ISD just doesn't consider the comfort of gay and lesbian EvE players on the E-O forums worthy of the same effort they exert to ensure the comfort of those who are heterosexual. To call it bigoted and offensive doesn't even begin to cover it.

To those of you who are reading this and scratching your heads wondering what the big deal is, let me paint you a little word picture, in the hope it'll become more clear:

Imagine you live in a world where you're treated badly and disparaged, not because of anything you've actually done, but just because some people don't like or even hate you because they find the way you choose to live your life distasteful or even downright disgusting. You cannot attend your local church because the pastor and parishioners consider you so ungodly and sinful they aren't even willing to tolerate you worshiping in their midst. Your government leaders passionately speak out against your equality under the law and successfully deny you and others like you the most basic of civil rights protections, such as the right not to be fired from your job, regardless of your work performance, just because your employer decides he doesn't want someone like you working for his company, or even the right to enter into a legally sanctioned relationship with the person you love. If you rent your home, you can even be evicted because your landlord doesn't want your kind around. If you go to a local bar for a drink, you know you may be kicked out or be made to feel unsafe and unwelcome for no other reason than who you are, how you act, or the way you look.

And then, you try to escape that hard reality for a little while with an online game based in a fictional star cluster far, far away, set thousands of years in the future, and discover to your dismay that everything you were trying to get away from is still right there, in your face, and for all its fantastic sci-fi trappings the discussion forum focused on this universe marginalizes and demeans you, your identity, and the way you live your life, saddling you with much the same disdain and disrespect as the real one.

Starting to get it now? Welcome to OUR world.

As for the rest of it, why I care so much about this (aside from the obvious reason), let me take a few more swings and knock out the last few bricks from that wall. Many of you who have followed this blog regularly for a while probably know I host a radio show. You've probably also figured out that I'm a writer. Here's the parts you probably don't know:

I'm also a pretty well-read journalist, blogger, and op-ed writer. On my other blog (found here or here), I cover a lot of social and political issues, most of them LGBT or specifically transgender-relevant. My radio show is defined as "The LGBT Internet Radio Show That Puts The "T" First!", and covers much the same topics with a special focus on transgender-relevant content, as does my podcast. I do all of this, a lot of it without pay, because I'm also an activist, someone who has dedicated her life to helping people like myself become more informed and more in tune with the topics and issues that are important in our lives.

I love what I do, and I'm passionate about it. That professional media job I've referred to here now and then? It was to be a host on a new LGBT radio network called GAYBC. It still may happen, but the network is now on hiatus because the founders are having trouble getting the funding to keep it going. If you read the US LGBT community political blogs and news media, you may have seen some of my work now and then. I'm pretty well-known within those circles, and more and more so all the time. While I do usually make my actual living as a retail manager, I've made it my goal to try to make my media work my professional career.

At the age of 45, a career change of this magnitude probably isn't the smartest goal to have, but being able to rely on those who were creating this kind of media when I came out in 1997 helped me to understand that I wasn't alone, that there was a place in the world where I was welcome and wanted, a place that not only didn't have a problem with who I knew myself to be, but actually welcomed and even celebrated it. After having already tried to commit suicide once, discovering that place probably saved my life, and so I've dedicated my life to ensuring that such a place will be there for the next newly-out Queer person who desperately needs it.

Hollismason sought such a place within the EvE universe, but ISD, their policies and their soulless word filter not only denied that place to him, but communicated to him and to every other Queer-identified EvE player paying attention that who he is and how he sees himself are neither welcome nor wanted on the E-O forums. He learned that his very identity is considered so vulgar and offensive by ISD that even the very word he chose to describe himself wouldn't even be allowed to appear in print. I see myself in his place ten years ago and I know how I would have felt if I had reached out for support and companionship and received the same kind of reception.

These aren't just words that can be used to express hate, they can also be used to express pride, community, culture, and to reach out others in love and support. Automatic word filters cannot make such value judgments, they can only do as they are told to by those who program them. Requiring human judgment to be employed in the vast majority of actions taken by ISD, but leaving Queer identities to be moderated solely by an unthinking, unfeeling computer program is the very lowest form of bigotry and disdain for our lives, our personal identities, and yes, our right to have that same pleasant experience on the E-O forums Jacques claims to wish to protect for everyone, not to mention being completely inconsistent with the far more inclusive and positive values incorporated into the game itself by its creators.

I love EvE. I wouldn't have spent the last six hours writing this post if I didn't. Still, I can't help but be offended to the core when I'm told that my own identity is being automatically banned by a computer program because some people find it so offensive that they believe children must be shielded from even seeing it appear in print.

How would you feel if it were an identity you use to define yourself were being rendered invisible in this way? How about if it were someone you love, a brother, a sister, a child, a friend? Would you be offended? You'd want to fight back, wouldn't you? If your answer is yes, then you do get it.

I'll be sending a copy of this post to ISD. Honestly, I really don't expect them to care much, if at all. Any group of people who are comfortable treating a different group in this way probably don't have much room their hearts for us or our concerns, much the same as in most parts of the world. Still, I guess I've got nothing to lose by trying. If you feel as strongly I do about this, I hope you'll take a few minutes and drop them a note to say so. Thanks.

And of course, I'll continue to play EvE. Indeed, it is the game itself which is an escape for the institutionalized, mechanized, and standardized anti-gay bigotry and homophobia which has insinuated itself into the E-O forums not because of those who post there, but because of those charged with protecting participants from it.

So, the wall is down, destroyed because it had to be, because I could not be true to myself and what I believe by continuing to remain silent. I know it's possible that some of you reading this may be put off by some of my revelations here. I can only hope that's not the case, that you enjoy reading what I write here for its own sake and that knowing I wasn't born female or that I'm a lesbian won't change that. I understood that I was taking a chance from the moment I began writing this post, really from the moment I lost a longtime friend when I announced my transition from male to female a decade ago. This is a reality all of us accept when we choose to be true to ourselves, and it is a reality I know I may be forced to now confront again as I bring this to close and publish it for all to see. All I can say is that I hope you'll stick around regardless. Oh, and one other thing:

Thanks for listening.

Waiting Out The War...

...it's not really intentional, but unfortunately it's the way it has to be. For the moment, at least.

Now is a particularly busy time for me in RL, but in a good way. Of course, less time to write and play, yadda yadda, you've heard it all from me before. Suffice it to say that my posting here will be less frequent for a while. Funny how even as harsh and violent EvE can be, it's my escape from RL, which these days seems to be just overfilled with things requiring my attention. For the most part, professionally, this is a very good thing. On the personal side of the equation, though, sometimes maybe not so much.

With E-Uni at war, I just don't find myself with the kind of time that I'd need to go make myself useful in something like that right now. Therefore I haven't been doing anything in EvE at all this week other than jumping in to catch up on EvE-mail and change skills. At some point soon, I hope to have some real time to devote, but right now it's just not possible.

No answers and no promises, other than I plan to play and write as often as I can. It just may not be as often as I'd like for a while. Hopefully, a short while.

Fly safe.

Ok, Now This Is Getting Ridiculous...

...I mean, really.

Today, I decided to give EvE TV another try, so I used an alternate email address (yes, I admit it) to get another 200 J-credits. I figured "Well, maybe I've been a little too harsh...the show just started and there are bound to be some issues. Let's see if they've gotten any better now that they have two more shows under their belts.".

Not only hasn't it gotten better, but parts of this show were actually unwatchable. The parts shot on location were recorded at so low a volume that I had to turn my computer speakers up to about twice normal volume. This worked fine for the first location segment, but when I tried it with the second, a deep, reverberating tone completely masked the conversation to the point where I was afraid of damaging my speakers. When I did turn them down low enough to make the tone go away it became impossible to hear what was being said. The studio segments and those shot indoors were fine soundwise, but I found myself eventually just giving up and fast forwarding through the location segments. In other words, I was forced to skip about half the show.

Ok, I'm just gonna say it: You people have got to be out of your minds to charge money for this. I've recorded better-sounding live audio outdoors with a $30 mini-cassette recorder and so could you. To expect players to pay for such utterly horrible sound quality is absolutely unconscionable. Either get your shit together and record live remotes properly or don't have them on the show until you can. To offer this level of production and sound quality and expect people to pay money for it is nothing less than an absolute ripoff. If I'd actually spent money to see this, I'd want a refund...a pity I can't get a refund of my time spent trying to tweak my computer sound trying to make it listenable.

In addition, the studio sound was ok, but only ok. SpiralJunkie still needs those voice lessons but was at least a bit more understandable this time, but the slower playspeed version was totally out of synch with the video. At least they had the good sense to have StevieSG interview Fortuna Five, definitely the single most enjoyable part of the show for me.

I want to like EvE TV, really I do. I love EvE, I love new media, and I love the idea of combining the two (obviously, since I'm doing exactly that in writing this blog). As true as that is, though, I can't help but be disappointed as hell that so far this show doesn't have anywhere nearly the level of production values that it should. Those location segments should have scrapped outright. Better by far to delay the release of the show by a few days for extra production work or to just release a shortened version than to take money for unwatchable content. There's just no excuse for it, none at all.

*****

The game? Oh yeah, right...

Well, basically I've been running missions when I've had a little time to jump in for a while, which hasn't been often over the last few days. I think I'm going to upgrade a few mods on the Myrmidon soon, but I also think I've finally got a fitting for it worked out that so far has kicked major ass every time I've taken it out. Once I had enough, I finally added a couple of salvagers and a tractor beam to throw in after I've done my mission killing and the ISK is rolling in faster than ever.

Really, my main problem now is having the time to run enough missions to get the ISK I need to start thinking about getting a Dominix and moving on to Level 4 missions. That's probably still a ways off, though. There always seems like there's something that needs doing in RL, and it's not at all a coincidence that this post has been written on a Sunday. It's generally the one day of the week when I can be at least reasonably sure I'll have enough free time to write up a post and maybe even go kick a little NPC butt.

In fact, I think I going to do exactly that right now.

Until next time (hopefully not another five days), fly safe.

Space: The Final Frontier?

No, not in this game, anyway. With the coming of walking in stations, EvE is not going to be expanding outward as much as inward, giving pilots a more human presence outside of their ships, with more than just a headshot icon to represent their human aspects. It's an interesting concept, and one I think is inevitable in order for this game to really add a new dimension to it. Not only that, but it seems to be an absolute prerequisite in order to stay competitive with what's coming soon in the MMORPG market.

Star Trek Online has posted its first devblog and the screenshots are absolutely stunning. This game will have planets that can be landed on, with terrain that's as just as realistic as you'd expect. It seems that right from the very start STO will offer players much more human-oriented experience than EvE currently does, which seems right in concert with what ST fans have come to expect in all aspects of the Trek legend.

Right now, EvE is more about the greater universe and the various ways to manipulate it, with the true human element of the game being the interaction between the players themselves, rather than the characters. Right now, that's limited to text or audio chat, while the true in-game player-to-player gameplay interaction really isn't person-to-person but ship-to-ship.

In some ways, I think this is kind of unique and interesting, but in others, maybe not so much. There's a certain detachment that comes with the lack of a real in-game human element, something that it appears STO will have in abundance. If you're an EvE loyalist as I am and expect to continue to be one for a long time, be afraid, be very afraid...if the actual game is even half as good as what's been released so far, STO is going to kick major ass.

EvE does have certain major advantages, of course. For one thing, it's long past the beta stage...the game has evolved into one with major political players, alliances, wars, a depth that seems absolutely unequaled in other games. It's going to take a significant amount of time before STO even approaches that level. And yet, it's Star Trek, and that might well make all the difference. Even so, STO is still in fairly early stages of its development, so by the time it does actually debut EvE will be even further evolved than it is now. It's also interesting to note that comparisons between the two games have already started in the gaming press, with EvE apparently being held up as the standard by which STO will be judged, as well it should be.

It's clear to me, and probably to CCP and anyone else involved with EvE in any capacity, that STO, when it finally debuts, is going to exceed EvE's playerbase in size faster than you can say "Engage!". That much, I think, is pretty much a given. The real question is whether EvE will survive it and for how long. Personally, I suspect that if STO draws the same kind of playerbase as WoW does, New Eden will continue to be a safe(r) haven for more mature and sophisticated sci-fi MMORPG players. If that's the case, chances are everyone wins.

Fingers crossed...

Late For Class...

...even though I didn't know I was going to be attending one until literally minutes before it happened.

I've had incredibly bad luck in terms of E-Uni class scheduling, but that's not the Uni's fault, it's my own personal fucked up schedule that's really the culprit. I just happened to be bitching about it in corp chat earlier and as luck would have it, a class I needed just happened to be about to start, a basic Tackling and Scouting 101 with Acacia Incana. While I do have some very minimal experience in these skills which I got during the class I took with Agony Unleashed a while back, this was something I really needed since so many other classes build on what's taught in this and other basic classes. The problem was that since the class was literally starting in just minutes, I had no time to pick up one of my tackling frigs. I ended up doing the class in my Thorax, and while it was great fun being a target and playing what amounted to "Interstellar Tag", I didn't get a chance to actually practice what was being taught. I learned what I needed to learn from this class, but because I was in the Thorax I really didn't a chance to actually practice it. Not a big deal, but I do think I'll retake it when I can.

In addition, I also learned a couple of important things that weren't in the class curriculum. For one thing, always check your overview settings after a patch. After the Revelations II patch, I lost all of my overview presets, and apparently after this latest one I lost about half of them, which I'd just painstakingly reconstructed about a week ago. Not only do I use the settings recommended in Romble's mp3 class, but I also keep the setting I learned in the readings for the AU class I took as well. The AU setup is slightly different from Romble's and I find it useful in certain situations. Just after the class began, I discovered that most of the Romble settings were gone, and certain settings from the AU setup had vanished as well. Fortuantely, I've now set these up from scratch a few times so I was able to fill the gaps as the class progressed by switching between the settings I still had and doing a few tweaks on the fly. Now, I know the first thing I have to do when I log in again is recreate these yet again. Ah well, I guess I can just think of it as practice.

The other thing I learned was something I should have known, that for me, someone who's done live radio online for over five years, should be filed under "Duh!". Of course, these classes require Teamspeak which I have and know how to use. At the beginning of the class I was having a lot of trouble hearing what was said clearly, and for some insane reason it didn't occur to me that the reason I was having so much trouble was because I wasn't using my headphones, I had the audio coming through my computer speakers. Normally this isn't much of a problem, but the room my computer is in is not the most effectively cooled by the AC, so I usually have a fan going when the weather is warm. The fan isn't really very loud, but it does make that "whooshing" sound fans do, creating a kind of low-level background "white noise". I'm so used to it I barely notice it most of the time, but it does effectively mask a certain amount of whatever audio I happen to be listening to. As a result, it was much harder to follow the conversation than it should have been, and silly me just chalked it up to less-than-optimum TS sound. This made perfect sense since Acacia's British accent led me to believe it was simply the distance that degraded the audio. Once I plugged in my headphones, though, it was like night and day, and I didn't have a problem again. DUH!

Pretty damn lame for my first class with the Uni, but despite the shaky start I'm looking forward to much more. One thing that kinda sucks is that I changed my email on the Ivy League message board and apparently my account has been put on inactive status for some reason. I think I'm supposed to get an email of some sort to reactivate it, but it hasn't arrived yet. If I don't get it by tomorrow when I check, I'll jump in-game and see if I can get someone in the Uni to help me get it working again. Until it is, I can't find out when the next classes I want to take will be held. I totally understand the need for security, but this is really a major pain. I'm getting notices about people posting in threads I'm tracking but I can't read them because until this is fixed I can't log in...grrrr...

Another interesting and cool thing I learned tonight is another of my Eve-Uni peeps is a reader of this blog (Hi Dee! :)). I also discovered that some of my classmates and Acacia didn't know I write one so I guess I'll have to post a link once I finally get back into the site. I do keep track of the amount of traffic this blog gets, and I've noticed that it's been slowly but steadily rising. Of course, like all bloggers, I love it when I see more people reading, and when I see people commenting here and in-game. It's a big reason why I spend as much time as I do on it, besides the fact that it combines two of my favorite pastimes, EvE and writing. Just knowing people are reading and enjoying it makes something that already gives me a great amount of pleasure and satisfaction even better.

Alright, enough for now. Til next time, fly safe.

Here We Go Again, Again...

Looks like in a couple of days the Uni will be at war once again. I've gotten the emails, and I know I'll need to be in Korsiki by then, I plan to wrap up the mission I'm on and get myself over there. Oh and speaking of that mission...

I'd finished nearly the entire thing last night, and was heading toward the final group of ships, drones out and ready to go. I enter attack range, cut off my afterburner, and begin targeting ships. Nothing happens, nothing at all. My afterburner is still blinking red, my drones don't respond to my commands, my ship ignores my commands to turn away and keeps heading straight for the blinking ships...and then, suddenly, I'm looking at my desktop.

After a couple of futile attempts to log back in, I check the E-O forums. The server has gone down, a GM tells us, but hopefully everything will be ok soon. Um, yeah, great...assuming I still have a ship left by the time I'm able to log back in. Since I know this is inevitably going to take at least a little while, I make a quick run to the store. When I get back, I immediately run the client and it tells me the server is restarting and will be back up in about two and a half minutes. I wait, I try connecting, again nothing. Sigh...

Finally, after waiting through another restart sequence, I get back in to find my newly-fitted Myrmidon still intact, but floating in the middle of nowhere and without its drones of course. By this point, it's three o'clock in the morning and I'm exhausted, so I just get it back to a station and go to bed. I know I'm now going to have to go back though this entire mission again in order to finish it....but hey at least I'll come out about a million and a half ahead. Even with the loss of five Ogre I's and the half-mil time bonus I should have gotten, I still come out ahead on the deal.

Tomorrow will be busy as hell...I doubt I'll have much time to play, but I'll do my best to get it all done in time. Since Korsiki is only a clone jump away it shouldn't be too much of an issue...hopefully. We'll see.

Ok, I think it's time for beddie bye...

Fool Me Once...

...shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott, USS Enterprise

I was starting the second part of the four-part "Whispers In The Dark" storyline mission. When I entered Egghelende, I noticed several Mutually Assured Distraction (MAD) ships so immediately headed for the nearest starbase and docked. Once docked, I flipped over to Local and saw these guys actually boasting about how they were picking off noobs for fun. I'm proud to say I resisted the temptation to suggest in Local that if they were trying to pick off ships it would probably be best not to discuss it in a public channel, but I decided that another option would be far more satisfying.

It was late and I knew I was going to be packing it in for the night soon anyway, so after watching these MAD guys make comments in Local like "fish meet barrel" etc. for a while, I got bored with it. I'd thought about clone jumping back to my Myrm and avoiding the whole thing, but instead I chose the easier option: I logged. Earlier today, I went back in-game and did the mission. I missed out on the time bonus, but it certainly beat getting my Thorax vaporized.

Yeah, I'm learning. Still, based on what I read in Local last night, a lot of noobs still haven't learned this lesson as yet...and, of course, these MAD guys had no way of knowing that I had fallen for this kind of setup by Veto less than a week ago, and there was just no fucking way I was going to let it happen again. As I've written before, this is the one game I've ever played where just simply turning the game off and doing something else for a while instead can be a valid and effective defense.

I'll admit I was surprised to see them in Egghelende...even though it is low-sec, it seems that almost nothing ever happens there. Still, it was really easy to keep them from attacking. As I always do, when I'm going on a mission I don't carry anything other than the ammo and cap charges I need to complete it. I guess, like Veto, they figured I was there to pick something up so they didn't come after me and probably assumed they'd catch me on my way out. I checked Local when I logged back on to change skills a while later and they were still out there, so I simply started a new skill, logged, and went to bed. If only all pirates were this easy to avoid.

In case you haven't figured it out by now, the lesson of the day is: Always check Local when in low-sec, no matter how unlikely it seems that you're going to run into trouble...you just never know. It's the easiest and most effective way to prevent pirates from taking you out unexpectedly. It won't always work of course, but you up your odds significantly when you do, especially if you're facing pirates who are arrogant enough to assume you don't know better. In addition, set up your overview to let you know when you've got ships in the area from corps with low or horrible standings in general or against your corp. Just having that information handy when you need it can be the difference between life and death.

Hmmm...I wonder if this means I'm officially no longer a noob?

Back To The Future...

...well, getting there anyway.

Over the last several days, I've continued doing Level 2 missions until I built up about 15 million ISK for the Myrmidon Fitting Fund. Last night, one of the readers of this blog, Aleyna, gave that effort a major boost by giving me a nice cache of mods that have enabled me to fill out my lower slots without spending anything. The actual game itself aside, if there's one thing I love most about playing EvE, it's the great people I've met and have become friendly with since I've been playing.

It really does make a difference. A big reason why I left Everquest, besides getting tired of paying extra for every new expansion and becoming bored with the game just in general, is that, with some notable exceptions, a lot of the people I found myself interacting with in EQ were people who I'd never want to associate with outside of it. So often it seemed like the discussions in EQ seemed much like recess time at the grade school playground, just bashing and smacktalking simply because they could and there was no one to tell them they couldn't. I love kids, but I've been an adult for a long time and I really have no desire to play online games with children. I haven't been twelve for a very long time, and I really have no desire to participate in discussions which take place at that relative intelligence level, and it was probably as much of a factor in my decision to leave the game as anything else. In EvE, I've found that, while that element is certainly present, it's certainly not as common as in EQ, nor, from what I've heard, as in WoW or other similar games.

It's really not all that surprising when you think about it. EvE is the only video game I've ever played that's so complex and has such a steep learning curve that it's very useful to actually take classes in how to play different aspects of the game. The amount of time and energy a player has to put into EvE in order to become proficient and successful is so high that a lot of younger players bail out because they have to take so much time to prepare before they can go out and blow stuff up. As I remember, most of the basics one needed to know before playing EQ were learned in a single starting area and could be accomplished in perhaps a few hours at most. EvE offers a tutorial as well, but as anyone who's been playing for any length of time knows, that's only the very beginning of the learning curve. There are reasons why I'm still a member of EvE University, and it's not only because I like the people. If there's anything I'm certain of in this game, it's that I still have a lot to learn about it.

In addition, there's a feeling about EvE that EQ, and I'd expect other similar online games, don't seem to have. The best way I can think of to describe it is as a "coziness", if you will. I suspect that's due largely to the fact that EvE's player base can be measured in thousands, not millions. It's kind of the difference between living in a small to moderate size town versus living in a major city. While there's certainly a larger number or residents and probably more diversity in the city, it's very size prevents the residents from experiencing the familiarity and comfort of knowing your neighbors and hometown in a way only those who live as members of smaller populations can. For all the vastness of the New Eden star cluster, EvE is still a significantly smaller and cozier play space than any of those boasting millions of players.

This is both a good and a bad thing. It's good for the reasons noted above, as well as the fact that as a player, one feels less like just a single tiny voice among the teeming masses fitting themselves into content created by and for others, and more like a real part of the ongoing story, like what you do as an EvE pilot really matters, no matter if you're the head of a major alliance or just a relatively new "working class" mission runner who's still learning the game.

In addition, there's just this general feeling that even though players may find ourselves on opposite sides in battle, we're all in this together, here in New Eden. PvP is one thing, but on the personal, social level, such things are much more easily put on the shelf and the aggression of the battlefield is much less likely to spill over into public discussion spaces. It may be harder to be the little guy on a business versus business level, but in-game it can lead to a hell of a lot more fun.

That's been my experience at least. I know there are some, perhaps many, who take their in-game corporate and alliance loyalties to a level that exceeds the boundaries of that which is actually relevant to the gameplay, but I find that to be much less the case in EvE than other games, much as I've found the introduction of real-world personal attitudes and bigotries into the game to be far less than I found in EQ. Sure it's there, but you just don't have to deal with it at the same level you do elsewhere. It may not be something anyone really spends a lot of time thinking about while in-game, but I believe it makes the overall atmosphere a much more pleasant one.

So now, having fit my Myrmidon's lower and most of its upper slots, I've decided to run a few more Level 2 missions to give me just a bit more financial breathing space before I take it out and go back to Level 3's. When I finish getting those last several slots fit, I'll run the Thorax back to E-Uni HQ and clone jump back to the Myrm. Once I've done all that, I'll be pretty much right back where I was before I ran into those Veto ships a few days ago.

A pain in the ass? Sure. Time-consuming? Fuck yes. Boring? No, not in the way you'd think it might be to have to go back a level in most games. Unlike EQ and pretty much every other video game ever, going back a level does not necessarily mean that you have to repeat and successfully perform an exact sequence of events. I remember when I had to do that in EQ, it actually got to the point where I knew exactly what was going to happen when, and I could anticipate and prepare for it. Now THAT'S boring! Still, I'll be glad when I can once again leave these level 2 missions behind and go back to making some real headway in this game. Soon...very soon.

Another nice thing that happened was last night was I was contacted in-game by another blog reader who mainly just wanted to say hello and let me know they enjoyed reading it. That's always great to hear. Since I've been writing this blog, it's been really great to hear how many people are reading and enjoying it. While I love hearing from you both in-game and in the comments section here, one thing I'd ask those of you so inclined is to pass it on and let others know about it. If you have an EvE-relevant blog of your own, I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd post a link so others can find it well. Thanks! :)

Ok, I think I've written enough for today. Catch ya out there!

EvE TV: Is It Worth Paying For?

Frankly, my answer is no.

While StevieSG is certainly pleasant enough eye candy, SpiralJunkie goes from somewhat difficult to understand to downright incomprehensible, at least to my American ear. Throw in some guests and you've got fast speaking, mumbling, thick British accents, making anywhere from half to two-thirds of the show as impossible to understand as if they were speaking Mandarin Chinese. To make matters even worse (if that's possible), they waste a ridiculously long amount of airtime interviewing plastered British players at get-togethers. I have to wonder why they believe this idiocy would be interesting to viewers who are tuned in and paying to learn more about EvE, not to see what kind of immature assholes men become when they drink too much.

Can someone please explain to me why EvE TV is worth even bothering to take the time to watch much less actually pay for? I did my bit. I like the idea of EvE TV, and I'm very inclined to do what I can to support new media, so I invested five bucks in some J-credits. Now that I've seen the first three episodes, I'm certainly not inclined to spend any more on this unless and until there's significant improvement.

As someone who makes media myself, I'm probably a bit hyper-critical, but I feel I have the right to be. The media I make is free to all...if you don't like my radio show, you don't have to listen, there's no price of admission required just to tune in. When I'm being asked to pay by the minute for it in advance, I've got a right to expect certain things, such as being able to understand what the fuck they're talking about without an interpreter. I also certainly have the right to expect that when I pay to watch a show about a game I love that the show is actually about that game with information useful to me as a player, and not have almost half of it taken up by interviews with drunks with almost nothing relevant or even intelligent to say. If I want that, I'll order the latest "Girls Gone Wild" video...at least then I'll get to see some pretty girls show off their tits.

In order for me to consider dropping more money on this show ever again, the first thing that needs to happen is SpiralJunkie needs to either be replaced or forced to take some voice lessons. Based on the on-air staff they currently have, if I were producing this show StevieSG and Farjung, who are at least consistantly understandable, would be the lead team, with StevieSG conducting the interviews. In addition, I'd insist that only those who can make themselves understood to Americans as well as Brits would be featured as guests. I know they have telephones in England, and I'd like to see them employed to bring on some Americans as guests...you know, from that country where the vast majority of EvE players live?

In all honesty, I'd be a lot less critical if I weren't being asked to actually pay money for this. In my opinion, this show is just far too Brit-centric to be of much value to anyone on this side of the Atlantic. Great idea...poor execution. EON Magazine costs money too, but the vast majority of its content is useful, comprehensible information, and that makes it a very worthwhile purchase. By that standard, EvE TV just doesn't measure up.

Better luck next time, folks.

The Thorax Flies Again...

...out of necessity, mainly.

I had another Myrmidon blown out from under me a couple of nights ago by a Veto gang. It was really my own fault this time. I'd gone to pick up a new mod in a low sec system (I forget which one...something starting with a "G"). I did see one Veto ship but figured I could handle it if attacked. My big mistake was that I forgot to check local before I left the station, and when I reentered space three Veto ships were waiting for me. I was toast in about ten seconds.

After reappearing in Korsiki, where I'd had my medical clone set for easy access in case of E-Uni emergencies and/or event participation, I jumped in my Thorax and flew it back to Gallente space. Once there, I bought myself another Myrmidon and insured it, but realized I didn't really have anywhere near enough ISK left over to fit it properly. Most of the usable mods I had lying around I'd already used in fitting my last Myrm, and so I've started doing Level 2 missions again in the Thorax to fatten the wallet a bit.

As long-time readers of this blog know, I never have a problem bitching up a storm when I believe I've been unfairly fucked over, but this time there's just no way I can do that. I should have checked Local before undocking but I didn't, and it was that mistake on my part which cost me my battlecruiser. Live and learn...again.

I think part of the problem is that I haven't been playing with any regularity over the last several weeks because I've been so busy in RL and so I'm probably more than a bit out of practice. A month ago, I doubt I'd ever have forgotten to check Local before undocking, and in this game that kind of noob mistake is all an enemy needs to take you out. The good part is that things are finally beginning to normalize in RL so I'm hoping to have more in-game time in coming weeks. It probably won't last, though. Right now, there's a lull in the demands on my time, but I expect that to change fairly soon so I'm going to try to take advantage of the extra playtime while I can.

The other good part is that you'll probably see more posts from me here in the immediate future. I really enjoy writing this blog, and I've missed not having the time to post more regularly. Again, I don't know how long this is going to last...such decisions are made by others...but I do plan to use the time to try to get back into the swing of playing and writing here. No promises though...it can all change at any time.

One new annoyance I've discovered is that since the Revelations 1.4.3 patch, some of the audio effects such as the music and the voice stopped working. After scouring the E-O forums for a solution, I discovered that changing my audio acceleration in Windows to Basic level solves the problem, at least for now. From what I've read, doing this may also render Teamspeak and/or Ventrilo useless, but I haven't had chance to test that just yet.

You'd think that for all the time and effort the devs put into making this game great they could at least give some attention to the audio. As it is, I have to turn it off every time I go somewhere where there's even the possibility of any kind of combat because the lag it generates can be deadly. I know the audio is the culprit here as I've done some of the same missions with and without sound and the lag in combat is always significantly less when the game sound is off.

To be honest, I don't know why it has to be that way. EvE is the only game I've ever played where the sound causes this kind of a problem with the gameplay. My understanding is that they're still using the same sound engine they had during beta, over four years ago. Given how much attention is given to other aspects of the game, I'm at a loss to understand why this hasn't gotten at least some dev love by now. According to recent dev blogs, audio fixes are planned, but what I've read on the forums is that CCP has been promising a new audio engine since the game came out of beta and most don't seem to believe that a fix is actually coming anytime soon.

Personally, I like the sound. It adds a depth to the game that's missing when I have to turn it off. I wish I didn't have to detract from my enjoyment of the game in order to have it run at maximum efficiency. Thing is, with the cost of death so high in EvE, there's really no choice but to use every possible advantage in combat, and that's the place where the audio can be the most useful in terms of warnings and such. It just doesn't make any sense to me that CCP has spent so much time and effort making every other aspect of this game the best it can be, but seemingly has this issue on a very low priority. Considering how integral to the overall experience of EvE the audio is, you'd think they'd want that aspect of the game to be as immersive as the rest, but as far as I can see, that obviously isn't the case, and I think that's really a pity.

OK, enough for now...RL calls.

Taking A Day In...

...at least one now and then.

I spent several hours in-game Monday, making a little ISK but mainly doing upgrades on my Myrmidon and relearning a critical lesson for any Eve player: Assume nothing, because if you do it will come back to bite you in the ass sooner or later. I never installed a warp stabilizer, assuming that I wouldn't have to deal with warp scrambling on missions until I started Level 4 missions...wrongo.

I get out there and I do good damage with my nifty new tech 2 guns until my cap starts getting low and I decide it's time to bail and recharge. I call back my drones and hit the button to warp out...and then I discover I'm being warp scrambled. Nowhere to go, my drones already back the bay, I send them back out and do as much damage as I can as I keep trying to unsuccessfully warp out.

I'm sure you've figured out the end of this story by now. Yep, baboom...do not pass into warp, do not collect several hundred thousand ISK, kiss several nice pieces of tech 2 gunnery buh-bye. Fuck.

Replacing and insuring the Myrmidon wasn't a huge problem, but fitting it is proving another story. While I've had some luck in having some useful stuff literally just conveniently laying around, there are some gaps in my inventory and not a lot of ISK left over to fill them.

Needless to say, I've now installed a warp stabilizer and eventually I'll find the time to try to do at least a passable fitting to get through some missions and fatten up the wallet some.

Sometimes in this game, the simplest rules are the most important ones.

Patching In...

...and it seems this was a good one.

The first thing I noticed was the new color scheme. The black is much nicer than that tired old grey. The opening screen is a very nice change as well. Then, it seemed like one change after another, as if every single part of the game one must pass through from opening screen to space itself has something new and different about it. Even the new trailer was nice, though I do wish they'd make these things in a somewhat lower res version so those of us who aren't running cutting edge technology supercomputers could run the thing as an actual movie rather than a series of stuttering still shots with a soundtrack. According to the comments on the forum the ending of the trailer was supposed to be quite dramatic, but I guess I wasn't able to get that from what my computer was able to display.

As far as gameplay goes, I guess I really haven't played enough yet since the patch, just a couple of hours last night, to detect any real differences other than the cosmetic. Of course, one can see how Heat will be used, but since I still have some training to do before I'll be able to use that ability it may be a while before anything in Revelations II actually impacts how I play the game.

Last night, I finished up a mission I'd been working on so long I was within a day of it expiring. The reality is that this media job I've started has been making a lot of demands on my time and of course, the first casualty of that is playtime. This is likely to only become more and more the case in upcoming weeks as the demands of this new position intensify.

Hopefully, I'll have some time to write more after I play more with RII, but right now that time is scarce. Please keep checking back, though. As with the start of any new business, the first few weeks are always intense, but hopefully things will normalize soon.

Until then, fly safe.

It Figures...

...I finally get some time to play EVE and the fucking server is going up and down like a yo-yo. Shit. Not much for me to talk about right now. All I managed to do before the servers went down for an emergency reboot was sell some stuff and make a bit o' ISK.

In the good news and bad news department, that media job I was going to be starting but then went away has suddenly gained a new lease on life. That's really all I can say at this point (because that's all I currently know), except that I've got a feeling that my RL schedule is going to get really, really, busy pretty soon. I'm not sure how this is going to play out in terms of my EVE playing time...I don't expect too much impact right away but as time goes on I fully expect it will more and more.

If nothing else it should be pretty interesting...more later if the servers stay up long enough to give me something to write about.

Slow Buildup...

...that's what you could call it, I guess.

In reality, it's more that RL is just taking a dump on me right now terms of demands on my time and so, I'm playing whenever I get a little time. Regular readers may remember that not so long ago I had to take a short hiatus from posting here to prepare for a new RL position. Sadly, that position does not appear to be materializing at this time. However, an alternative or sudden resurrection are not impossible so nothing is carved in stone at this point. At this point, all options are open.

As a result, I'm going to have to devote more time to RL pursuits for a while, and I'm sure both my playing time and my blogging time will suffer as a result. Of course, the more I have to deal with in RL, the nicer it is to take a break with EVE when I'm able. On the other hand, if I'm successful in my RL pursuits, it'll change my life significantly...just how much remains to be seen.

I wish I had more time to write, but right now, I don't...more soon.

Another One Bites The Dust...

...is it my fourth Myrmidon...or my fifth? I don't remember.

Still, a pretty simple matter to buy a new one since the insurance money currently not only provides enough to buy the ship but also refit it for the most part. The biggest PITA will be fitting the thing.

Ah well...I'll probably jump in-game for a while later, but I've got a lot of RL shit to do today...

All Fixed...Sorta...

What I ended up doing is was following Lucas' suggestion (see comments on the previous post). I podded myself back to Korsiki and then clone jumped back to Gallente space to do some mission running. Now, I'm back in my proper original clone with all those lovely implants and in about 23 hours or so I'll be able to jump back at will. In the meantime, I guess I'll just have to rack up as much mission running goodness as I can, I suppose...

I did manage to lose a Myrmidon earlier on a mission, but it was a simple matter to replace it this time around. Gotta be a little more careful. It always seems like just as I'm about to finally make some real headway, I lose another ship. Not an especially good pattern to find oneself in. I gotta stop doing that, too.

So, I think it's probably almost time to jump back in-game and have just a little more fun before bedtime...

Continuing To Be Bad...

...yeah, I really am.

Late last night, after checking Local repeatedly and finding it clear, I jumped in a shuttle and lit out for Gallente space. I took the faster route, which includes a few low-sec systems, and at one point found myself in the middle of a pitched battle between a couple of pilots who both had bad standing toward me (and toward each other, I suppose). Lucky me, they were so busy with each other that neither seemed to care about me and my little unarmed, empty shuttle.

Arriving at my current staging station in Gallente space, I did a couple of missions and then went to bed. This morning, I realized that since I actually flew the distance last night to Gallente space I have to fly back in order to restore my jump clone...or, I suppose I could fly to either Khanid Kingdom or a Federation Navy station to set another one, but at this point that seems kind of counterproductive since sooner or later I'd have to fly into Korsiki.

It's my own fault, of course. By now, I'd be able to clone jump back to Gallente space, but because I couldn't wait last night, I find myself in the interesting situation of having my medical clone in Korsiki and my jump clone in Gallente space. This is all because I had to get back to Gallente space I was willing to risk flying it, and now, because of that, the only way to fix it is by flying to Korsiki and then jumping back.

To be honest, I'm not yet sure what I'm going to do.

The Waiting...

Well, at least its a little more interesting than counting the number of lights inside a station.

I stood watch along with about 40 of my fellow E-Uni peeps for a couple of hours before I had to go. I'd have happily stayed a few more but I couldn't right then. I do plan to take a few later tonight though. In reality, I doubt anyone is going to see any action at all tonight...but then again, who knows?

Very weird. The interesting part was that is was something...people felt like they were doing something...and maybe some of us weren't, especially if, like me, they weren't in on the three MENTL kills earlier today.

Right now, I'm taking a break from the waiting. If I go back in, I couldn't clone jump again until tomorrow even if I wanted to, so it'll just be more guard duty...and I'm ok with that. They also serve, she who stands and protects...ok, so I made that one up, but it works... doesn't it?

Perhaps a nap and then I'll go babysit Korsiki for a while.

Still Being Bad...

...I suppose, anyway. I haven't been in-game yet today. Too many other things need doing before that happens today. In any case, though, I'm still in Gallente space, but I'm also ready to jump right back to Korsiki at a moment's notice if I'm needed.

This is my way of keeping the game fun for myself while at the same time making sure that I'm still in a position to fulfill what I see as my obligation to be there to help when help is needed. Still, a combination of RL responsibilities has conspired to keep me out of EVE thus far today...but not for all that much longer.

No, things are changing, I think...perhaps just for some of the noober of the E-Uni noobs, or perhaps for a wider group of players than that. This is where I suspect a lot of pilots are finally beginning to understand the true level of difference between EVE and everything else out there. This is war, and war isn't always fun...in fact, it's usually pretty fucked up. "Ah,", but you say, "this isn't real war, it's EVE war and EVE war is supposed to be fun.". Absolutely true. Another absolute truth is that part of what makes this game engaging and immerssive for those of us who play it is it's depth. Any game this deep is going to have fast, exciting parts and slow, not so thrilling parts, just like RL does.

Again, it's easy for me to say all this while I'm not even actually in Korsiki at the moment but in Gallente space running missions, but I'd never be doing it with a well-placed jump clone and an acceptance of the risks involved. Since I did lose 3 ships to the Privateers, I know exactly what the risks are at this point and therefore was able to make an informed decision to clone jump out of lockdown.

I will admit to feeling just a little bit guilty about doing it...but not really all that much. I knew I could be back within minutes were I needed. I still can be. I will be.

Sigh...this war is just an annoyance. Feh.

Ok enough typing...for now.

Enough Is Enough...

...and that's where I am now.

Last night, I did it. I just couldn't take it anymore. I clone jumped out of Korsiki to where I'd parked my Myrmidon in Gallente space and ran my first Level 3 mission in a while. I know, I know...but the reality is that there was absolutely nothing going on at HQ. As was suggested by one of the more experienced E-Uni members while I was watching chat last night, I kept an eye on Local even in high-sec and just ran the mission as I normally would. You know what? In the process of doing that, I think I've discovered MENTL's one weakness.

As potent as they are as individual pilots (and they certainly are), they're not a very large group. They simply can't be everywhere. I came to this theory while checking the killboard and realizing that all of their kills in this war have happened in or close to Korsiki. The fact that seems to be escaping some is that while meeting up with one or more of these guys is probably almost certain death for the vast majority of noobs or perhaps even just pilots flying solo, the chances of having one find you outside of the area close to E-Uni HQ is not very high at all. Note that I did not say impossible. Anything is possible, especially in this game. However, given that they only have about twenty pilots in their corp and given that all of their E-Uni kills have been in Korsiki except for one which was in nearby Olo, the chance of running into one of these fuckers outside of the systems local to Korsiki is, in my opinion, highly unlikely.

So, I did it...I took yet another risk and clone jumped back to Gallente space for mission running. It's where I currently am, but by the time I'm able to go in-game for any length of time today the twenty-four hour time limit will have expired and I'll be able to respond to a call for E-Uni pilots for PvP or other ops within minutes. I' m already a bit over a million ISK richer than I was before I did it, but there's also one other important factor that I'd like to offer in the form of a friendly reminder to any E-Uni leader types who may be reading this:

It was fun...a hell of a lot of fun, as a matter of fact. I got to shoot up some NPC's in my shiny new tech2-fitted Myrmidon, made myself some ISK, and didn't see a war target during the entire time I was doing it...and believe me, I was watching. I really wasn't doing it because I need the ISK, even though more money in the wallet never hurts, I was doing it because it was the first real fun I've had playing this game in the last two days.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy hanging with my fellow E-Uni peeps and watching the discussion in corp chat, now and then even throwing in my own two cents, but the reality is that if that's all it is, it does start to get old after a while. I think perhaps our E-Uni leadership needs to remember that, and that if and when EVE stops being fun that's when players are going to tend to start rebelling and just doing whatever they want, regardless of the risks involved.

I hate to be one of those people who says "Do as I say, not as I do.", but the reality is that some common sense is definitely called for here. I can do this kind of thing and get away with it because I have a jump clone set in Gallente space where I keep my Myrmidon and one at HQ in Korsiki. Trying to do this while having to actually fly the distance between the two points would definitely come under the heading of "asking for it" and therefore is not something I'd recommend. If you're a noob and reading this, consider it an illustration of why training Informorph Psychology and having jump clones available when you need them is a very, very, good thing to do, perhaps even while you're locked down in Korsiki.

For now, it's really not an issue. I have a full day ahead in RL, so I doubt I'll be doing more than just briefly jumping in-game to check for new EVE-mails until late today. At that point, I'll decide what my next move is.

Later...

Lockdown!

Basically there are just a few choices available: Members of E-Uni are currently under orders not to undock. One way to avoid this is to join TDROPS, the other is to go play on the test server. Not a great variety of alternatives.

It's understandable. One look at the killboard and you know why...these MENTL guys are having us for lunch. They've taken out sixteen of our ships and we've taken out exactly one of theirs. It's not surprising our commanders have ordered a lockdown...it seems that just about any encounter with these guys is going to ends up with a significant number of E-Uni ships blown up, so our commanders are simply waiting this out. Probably the most sensible strategy at this point, even if not the most fun to deal with.

I just wish there was something to do, because TDROPS is looking better and better right now, but in all honesty, I really don't wanna do that again this time...now that I've had at least some PvP training, it would feel like bailing out. Add to that the fact that I don't have the moral high horse to get on I did last time, and I'm really having a hard time rationalizing a move to TDROPS.

If only it wasn't so damn boring.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Look, I'm trying, ok? Really, I am. I just didn't think war was supposed to be this boring. Logged in a bit earlier and couldn't even find out if there was an op planned. I'm now considering just saying the heck with it and joining TDROPS for the duration of the war, or, alternatively, just jumping back to Gallente space for some mission running. Anything that lets me get back to actually playing EVE.

Yeah, I suppose I'll log in again in a little while and see if anything's going on. If there is, great, if not...well, I've got stuff to do, anyway. I've been asked to write a couple of pieces...one is finished, the other I've had to throw away my original idea for and I've yet to settle on an alternative I'm happy with. Perhaps this "war" lull will allow me the time to sit back and focus on what I want to write about and then write it up. I can't argue that it's certainly allowed me the time to write this post. Of course, "allow" probably isn't the right term. There's no requirement that I play EVE as much as I do, only my own interest and desire...and of course, when my interest level wanes due to lack of anything diverting to do in-game, I immediately start seeking substitutes.

In EVE, of course, war is a temporary condition at best. I'd expect that when this week's wardec expires so will MENTL's interest in continuing to fight us. I'm looking forward to that day, anxiously.

This War Is A Pain In The Ass...

...I mean really, it wouldn't be so bad if there were actually something to do, something to shoot, something...this though, this is just boring.

Waiting always is. The problem is that that's all the Uni seems to be doing, waiting. I guess one thing you can say about the Privateers is that at least there were some of them out there. I've actually seriously contemplated getting back into TDROPS again just so I can go back to doing something in-game besides listening to the conversation on Teamspeak.

I suppose I shouldn't complain. I was quick enough to bitch up a storm when the Privateers wardecced us over and over, but mainly my problem with them was their tactics and the cowardly way they went after ships already crippled from previous battles. It just seems to me that there should be a certain amount of honor among enemies, especially in a game like EVE, and that the Privateers, for the most part, just don't seem to have any. The Privs just offend my sense of honor and fair play, and it's because of that, more than anything else, that I refused to risk my ships or waste my time in battle against them. The corp that's wardecced us now, Mentally Unstable Enterprises, I really have no opinion of as yet, positive or negative, other than that by wardeccing a corp with as many more members then they have as we do, they certainly do live up to their name.

So, I'm more than happy to fight them, I just wish there were more of them to fight.

Feh.

Here We Go Again...

...but not quite as big a problem as before.

Once again, Eve University has been wardecced. This time however, not only am I not refusing to fight, I'm looking forward to it.

It's actually kind of ridiculous. This corp with something like 21 members has wardecced us, so they're going up against a corp of something like, I don't know, maybe 100 times that number? I mean, how utterly stupid is this? Basically, I don't see this as war as much as potential sport, and that's just fine with me.

So what I did earlier today was do my first clone jump to Khanid Kingdom from Gallente space. I then flew a Velator back to where I'd parked my Thorax and flew that to Korsiki. So now I have my medical clone and my Thorax in Korsiki, my jump clone and my Myrmidon in Gallente space (now all fitted out and insured for missions), and three PvP-fitted frigs in Nonni. I'm also now registered on the E-Uni Teamspeak server as well.

Now, I'm all set up for just about anything. I've still got a nice chunk of change left over from fitting the Myrmidon because I decided to sell off a couple of beta implants and rake in about ten million. So I'm really in no rush to go back to running missions, I'm exactly where I need to be in order to available for ops and such, and should it be needed, the Myrmidon is just a clone jump and then about 20 jump gates away. Not bad for a few hours time spent in game today.

Funny, I feel completely different than I did when last we were wardecced. I mean, I know perfectly well that there's a fair chance that I'll get podded sooner or later during this war as I plan to be on the front lines this time around, but I also know that it's also possible that I'll be the one doing the podding this time. I kinda have that "Oh yeah? Bring it on!" sort of attitude now. I guess that can be a good thing as it gets me into the fray, but I have to be careful that it doesn't make me cocky or sloppy. I'm not prepared to risk my brand-new Myrmidon in this war, but I have made the decision to offer up my Thorax in defense of E-Uni as needed. It's the very least I can do for this corp, and I'm more than willing to do it. If that's not enough, I'm also happy to jump into one or more of my PvP fitted frigs I set up for the AU class and fly those into battle as well.

By the time I log in tomorrow, hostilities will have officially begun. Should be interesting, to say the least.

Stay tuned.

New Horizons...

...and plenty of 'em.

I just got back to the staging system after my Agony Unleashed Basic PvP class a little while as I write this. Not only did I learn a lot, but I also had a hell of a lot of fun. I've now had, as our instructor put it, my 0.0 cherry popped. Our class didn't get to see a heck of a lot of PvP but we did have some and it was a lot of fun. One thing that wasn't very fun was the amount of lag I had to deal with. We had about thirty or so ships in our group and things like gang warping and similar stuff often slowed my screen to a crawl or worse at some points.

Even so, I'm a lot more confident as a pilot in general now that I know what I learned today, and I also know that a lot of what I learned will be applicable in any group or combat situation in EVE regardless of whether it's in 0.0 or not. Cool beans. Another nice thing about this class is that I can retake it free of charge whenever I like, and I'm sure I'll be doing exactly that sometime soon. Not only did I have a blast, but I also want to practice what I've learned. I could even have stayed later as many in the class continued with the instructor to look for more PvP, but a few quick but critical RL responsibilities demanded that I quit when the group was convenient to high-sec so I could go deal with them. Truth be told, I'd have loved to have rejoined them afterward, but I think I've had plenty for today.

A great bunch of guys, these AU folks. In all honesty, I'm not sure I'd want to formally join their corp as they are pure PvP'ers and right now, at least, I'm looking for a more well-rounded EVE education. Next, I expect I'll be looking to EVE University for classes on both the finer points of PvP and on other aspects of the game. Then again, who knows? Perhaps after I've had more experience and have a better idea of exactly how I want to play this game over the long haul, I might decide to apply to AU after all. One thing's for sure: If my experience today is any guide, I'm quite certain they'd be just a great a group both in terms of skill level and on a personal level to play EVE with as the E-Uni folks are. Given my experience with E-Uni, that's the highest compliment I can pay any player or group of players in this game.

I think what I'm going to do for now is just leave all three of the frigs I set up for this class right where they are. Since I know I'll be doing this class again sometime soon, it makes no sense to use them for other purposes other than perhaps in emergency situations. Also, since they're only about 11 jumps or so from E-Uni HQ they're handy enough should I need to jump in one to lend a hand on an op or something.

Another fun thing: While waiting for the class to start, I was trying to sell a few things I'd brought with me from Gallente space that should fetch a good price but no one was interested in there. While doing that, I managed to sell four units of Quafe Ultra Special Edition for a cool three million...a nice and very needed boost to the wallet, which had been depleted by my Myrmidon purchase.

And now, my thoughts fly toward the future. I expect I'll spend some more time, more than likely just a few more days at most, fitting and insuring my Myrmidon and building my wallet back up a bit. Once that's done, I'm going to be changing my base of operations to Korsiki and jumping back to Gallente space when I need to make some ISK quickly. When I'm ok in that department, I expect I'll be spending a lot of my in-game time with E-Uni, taking classes and participating in ops and events, and also beginning to build my standings in that area. As I've literally just begun learning Caldari ships, I definitely have a long way to go in that regard, but that's fine. I'm moving out there because I want to learn more, and that's going to take time.

Now that I've had my first taste of both true PvP and 0.0, neither are quite as scary as they were before. I may not yet really have a handle on exactly where I want to go in this game as yet, but I do think I've found some important signposts leading me in the right direction, toward new horizons, new battles, new challenges, and new experiences.

It just keeps getting better and better.

Pew-Pew Deja Vu?

So, I did it...today, I bought myself another Myrmidon. It's not in space just yet. I got it at an excellent price, about 10 million ISK cheaper than the last one I bought. I saw it for about 34.5 million and jumped on it. I don't yet have enough to finish fitting and insuring it completely as yet, but I'm working on it.

It's interesting how I seem to have become a true expert when it comes to doing Level 2 missions in my Thorax. Even the formerly unbeatable "Blockade" mission is now merely time-consuming, but also highly lucrative. I zip through these quickly now, and I plan to continue doing so for a while, at least until I get the Myrmidon in space.

I've also made my decision as far as moving. I'm going to do it, soon, but probably not immediately or completely right away. Since I'm well above the standing I need to set a jump clone with the Federation Navy, I'll probably move my main clone to Caldari space, set a second jump clone in Gallente space (my first is in Khanid Kingdom...nice to have, but currently useless), and have the best of both worlds...or both regions, anyway: I'll be able to take advantage of being local to EVE-Uni HQ and I'll be able to jump back to Gallente space to earn myself some ISK when I need to. Of course, all this will take place after tomorrow's class. I'll be flying myself out to the staging system for that either later tonight or early tomorrow. I've got actual RL plans tonight (yes, I do have something approaching an offline life...sometimes), so it'll all depend on how late I'm out and in what condition I find myself once I get home. It is, after all, Friday night.

Moderation Vs. Censorship

In the four months I've been playing EVE, this is about the saddest thing I've ever seen:

An excellent discussion thread about the possibility of having a regular "State of the EVE Universe" statement locked for being necromancy. Perhaps, had it A) not been interesting or relevant (in my opinion, it was and is both) or B) been old enough as to be no longer in concert with current reality, I could see it, but neither was the case here. In fact, the last post in the thread before the latest ones was just a mere five weeks old.

How very sad...but then, unnecessary censorship always is. This is what happens when you place power in the hands of too many people...it increases the chances that someone is going to use that power simply because they can.

In my opinion, that's clearly the case here. There was just no valid reason to lock this thread. The discussion was good and positive, the topic fresh and relevant. Speaking as both a present and former forum moderator, if I ever tried to do something like this on the forums I've had mod status on for a reason this lame I'd have had my head handed to me and rightly so.

The purpose of any discussion forum, the sole purpose, should be to foster and facilitate quality discussion about the topic or set of topics the forum is designed to cover. If the discussion taking place is an interesting and productive one, there's no reason why chronological time should have any bearing on it at all. There are plenty of good reasons to lock a thread, not the least of which is the quality level of the discussion. Simply being a few weeks old just isn't one of them. It is at precisely this point that such an act is no longer that of a moderator and becomes that of a censor.

If that's what CCP wants on their forums, that's fine...it's their forum. However if that's the case, then they should be up front about that. Let them call these folks what they are, censors, not moderators, and be honest about the kind of sanitized content they want there. That way, those who prefer a less restrictive discussion environment will know up front that they need to look elsewhere for it.

Personally, I'm very disappointed. I was actually considering applying to ISD to become a moderator, but I've now reconsidered because I refuse to be a censor. I've got far better things to do with my time than look for ways to prevent my fellow pilots from talking freely, openly, and honestly about this game we all love.

I'm sure I'll continue to drop by to read announcements and such, but I doubt I'll be wasting my time composing posts there anymore. Frankly, it just seems pointless now. Anything I have to say I'll say here, unmoderated and uncensored, or in the relevant unofficial forums.

What a pity that a game that's as open to unconventional play and variety of playing style as EVE suffers under such antiquated and restrictive policies on their discussion forums.

How very sad indeed...

You Know You're An Eve Addict When...

...you spend the first part of your 45th birthday on a 60-jump excursion to Khanid Kingdom to set a jump clone. Yep, that's exactly what I did earlier, and it gave me reason to pause, reflect, and maybe, just maybe, evolve a bit as a player.

It occurred to me as I was flying my way out across Gallente, Caldari, and, for the first time, Amarr space to set this jump clone that in just the last week I've reached a few milestones in this game:

1. I've now been to every major empire at least once, as well as Khanid Kingdom.

2. I've been on my first fleet op, which was also my first time playing EVE in concert with other players.

3. I've set my first jump clone.

4. I finally beat that goddam "Blockade" mission for the first time.

5. I've been within two jumps of 0.0 space.

On the way back to Gallente space, I did something that's been pretty out of character for me thus far in this game. Checking my map, I realized that I could save myself nine jumps if I went through five low-sec systems near the end of my trip. Three of these systems I'd already visited on missions, but two I hadn't...and the map indicated that one of those new systems had had five ships destroyed in it during the previous hour. I had to make a decision on which route to take before I started the trip. I decided to go for it.

I knew that even if I did get my Thorax destroyed and/or myself podded, I could afford to replace it. Therefore, I figured that with reasonable precautions and a cargo hold filled with plenty of ammo it was a risk worth taking. Funny thing is, I needn't have worried.

When I reached the gate to the first low-sec system, one of the ones I'd never been to, I set my chat window to Local and jumped into...nothing. There was only one other pilot in the system, one who was apparently neutral to me. I flew to the next gate, jumped into the other low-sec system I'd never been to...and again, nothing. I was the only one there. Jump, jump, jump, and I was back in Gallente high-sec. Big fucking deal.

Of course, it certainly could have been different, but it wasn't. I took a risk and it paid off. Chances are, I'll probably take more in the future. The truth is, though, I took the risk because I knew I could afford the worst possible result. I was, in fact, flying something I could afford to lose, so I took the risk. Would I have done it had I been flying a Myrmidon or Brutix instead of a Thorax? In all honesty, I don't know. Would I do it now? Maybe, maybe not, but I'd probably consider it a lot more seriously that I would have before this morning's excursion.

So, while it may be at a slower pace than some, I'm definitely making progress in EVE, in assets, in experience, in skills, and in courage. My perception of this game and my place in it is changing rapidly, seemingly almost every time I log in. The AU PvP class on Saturday will be another milestone, one I suspect will lead to even more changes in how I play this game.

All of this points up to me, yet again, how different this game is from any other I've ever played, and why I enjoy it as much as I do. It's been called a "sandbox" in terms of the way it's structured. I suppose that's accurate in some ways, but it's also so much more. Never in my gaming career have the risks been so high, the rewards so great, the learning curve so high, the content so engrossing, or the experience so satisfying. It's for all these reasons and more that I celebrate my own birthday, just days after the game's own, by playing EVE.

Damn, I just love this game.

The Wide Open Spaces Of Eve...

...seem just a little wider and a little more open today.

Last night, I flew my first fleet op in EVE, as part of a freighter escort for an EVE University transport. We saw no combat at all, flying all the way to and from our destination deep in an area of empire space I'd never been to before. I never fired a shot, and yet, it was one of the most enjoyable experiences I've ever had in this game.

The call went out mid-evening for combat pilots who wanted to participate in an op. Normally, I don't respond to these things. As I'm based in Gallente space for now, by the time I'd get to E-UNI HQ in Korsiki, usually anywhere from a 20 to 25 jump trip, where these things generally start from, they'd be long gone. This time, I just happened to be already halfway there, so I flew directly to the staging system for my Agony Unleashed class this Saturday which happened to be nearby, dropped off my Thorax, jumped in one of my PvP-fitted Tristans and headed for Korsiki.

When I was almost there, I realized that I hadn't yet installed Teamspeak. I'd used Ventrilo when I tried to attend the last AU class, but I hadn't had a reason to install TS...until then. So, upon my arrival in Korsiki, I immediately docked, logged out, installed TS and quickly logged back in. I thought I was going to be too late, but fortunately I discovered that I wasn't the only participant in this op who needed a few minutes to get ready for it. As it turned out, I wasn't even the last pilot to signal my readiness to go.

In all honesty, I had really no clue what the hell I was doing or what the op was about. It was my very first time flying as part of a fleet, and I'm sure it showed. Fortunately, the E-UNI instructors are very good at what they do, not only technically but also as teachers of noobs. We flew under the command of E-UNI Fleet Admiral Silentbrick, and for me, this was a truly unique experience.

I was literally learning as we went along...I do think I need a lot more practice in getting myself aligned in preparation for gang warping, but all in all, I think I did pretty damn well considering I hadn't had a lick of instruction in how to fly as part of a fleet before I actually did it. From my own perspective on this op, the best thing I can say about it and the pilots I flew with is that next time I'm asked to help provide an escort I'll have a much better idea of what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and how to best perform my own part in it...and, not inconsequentially, I had a hell of a lot of fun doing it. Not only all that, but it didn't even cost me a ship to do it, which I fully expected it to. Not too shabby.

Just as importantly, flying this op illustrated for me where some of the gaps in my knowledge are, what I need to research, work on, maybe even take a class in. While I've decided against taking any "official" E-UNI classes until I do the AU Basic PvP class this Saturday, at the same time I'm also planning to spend some of my time doing some research. Among the things I'm going to be spending some time on is becoming more familiar and adept with both Teamspeak and Ventrilo.

I've actually had a bit of minor previous experience with Vent, having investigated the possibility of using it to connect my producer and I during my radio show. It didn't work for that purpose (the delay was just too much to use for talk radio), but at least I knew how to connect to a server, activate my mic, and other basic functions. I'd never used TS before last night, and while I did manage to log in and was able hear Silentbrick and others give commands to the fleet, I still have some reading to do on the finer points of using this program.

In addition, I've also come to realize that I thought I understood how jump clones work but I clearly don't have a clue. That's an E-UNI class I'd have taken if I'd known about it before it was held. That one's totally my fault. They scheduled it, they announced it on the forums, and I missed it because I didn't check the Ivy League forums in time. Bad Bekka...not a mistake I'll be making again, though. While I wait for that class to be offered again, however, I'll definitely be doing some research in that area as well.

So, an E-UNI op that might have been pretty mundane for more experienced pilots was one of the single best learning experiences I've ever had in this game so far, and it's got me thinking. If I hadn't been within reasonable distance of E-UNI HQ when the call went out, I'd have missed it. I've often heard it suggested that in order to get maximum benefit from E-UNI and what it offers, it's best to be based within close distance to E-UNI HQ in Korsiki.

I've toyed with the idea of moving out there, deep into Caldari space, but so far have resisted the idea since I know that because I've been making my ISK running missions, as opposed to mining which can be done almost anywhere, chances are I'd have to start essentially from scratch again, working my way back up through the levels to get to where I already am in Gallente space. That's really where the decision I have to make is focused: While there are significant benefits to doing it, there's definitely a price to be paid for such a move...do I want to pay it, and, assuming I do, do I want to pay it sooner rather than later?

On the other hand, an interesting thing I discovered last night is that there are many ultra-low-level agents scattered about that will offer me missions out there. Sure, I'd have to seek them out, but now I at least know they're out there. I'm also quite sure I could depend on some of my fellow pilots for help in locating these agents and getting started on this, perhaps without setting myself almost completely back to Day One as a mission runner.

In reality, while I do enjoy running missions, I want to do more, I want variety, and I'm not getting it doing what I do now. I want to spend more time in low-sec, I want to see 0.0, I want to see the Eve Gate, I want to be and do more, and start to really experience the aspects of this game I haven't yet...in short, I want more from EVE than I'm getting right now and I'm less and less convinced that can happen on the path I'm currently on.

I've resolved that I'm not going to make a decision on this until after Saturday's class at minimum. I do need to build my nestegg a bit so I'm going to spend the rest of my in-game time this week doing that in Gallente space, where I can earn the most ISK right now. After that, all options are on the table.

All thoughts on this are most welcome...more than ever, this is a question that I need to answer, and soon.

Four Years Is A Long Time...

...a heck of a lot longer than I've been playing EVE, that's for sure. Four years ago, I don't think I even knew what an MMOG was, much less that I might be interested in playing one.

It's funny how, looking back now, my concept of video games was so different. I was still in the mindset that such a game had a beginning, a middle, and an end, much like an interactive book or movie that allows the player to participate in, but not dictate, what happens next. I played things like sports sims, games based on movies like Spider-Man, LOTR, and Star Trek (yes, I admit it, dyed in the wool Trekkie here), and silly little games like solitaire and online poker.

Really, it was Everquest which changed my perception of what a video game could be. I was (and still am) extremely interactive online in other aspects of my life, so discovering a game that combined these two things was quite a find for me. In addition, the idea of a game that didn't really end, even though EQ did have content that one played through before moving on, was also quite new to me.

I lasted about six months with Everquest, but grew tired of it after a while. In all honesty, it was a few things that led to my losing interest and eventually canceling my account:

1. Grind, grind, grind....fun at first, boring later. Once I'd reached a point where I had to keep repeating the same content over and over in order to accomplish certain goals, I'd also reached the point where I started becoming disenchanted with EQ as a game in general.

2. The people. Some were terrific folks, others, not so much. I discovered that I dislike playing with children...or, at least, those who act like children. While that's certainly something likely to be found in most MMOG's, some apparently have it worse than others. Eventually, I just got tired of playing with people who acted like it was middle school recess in the schoolyard.

3. The content. Sure, much of it was interesting, but I've never been that big a fan of a medieval swords and sorcery kind of theme, and this game was clearly Dungeons and Dragons brought to life in video. Fun for a while, but only for a while.

4. The price. Just too damn expensive. Not only do these people bang you for a monthly fee, but they make you pay again every time they create a new content expansion for the game. After paying for two expansions over the six months I played, I just refused to shell out any more money, and it bothered me that despite all the money I'd paid into this game, I still didn't have access to all of it. While that may be standard operating procedure for most of these games, to me it just felt like a ripoff.

5. The game in concept as a whole. It just always seemed to me that there were parts of the game I'd never see without years of preparation and literally hundreds of friends to help me get there. It really seemed like there was a distinct line between those who would have access to such content and those who'd never see it regardless of how well they personally did in the game as individual players. You can guess, I'm sure, which group I felt myself to belong to. I just couldn't realistically see myself investing the hours necessary to reach that point, and even if I did, there was no guarantee that I'd be able to join a guild that would be capable of taking it on.

The first time I tried EVE, just before I signed up for EQ, I really wasn't all that impressed with many aspects of it. While I loved the concept and the theme, it just seemed like it was too hard to progress, too easy to die, and too hard to recover once you did die. I signed up for the free trial, but only lasted about a week before I became frustrated with it, seemingly just getting blown away by gatecampers over and over and...to be honest, after a week of this it just wasn't lot of fun. Still, there were certain aspects to EVE that I absolutely loved, if only...

So, I signed up and did my six months with EQ. I really don't regret it because the experience helped me to understand what I like and don't like about MMOG's, what's important to me as a player, what isn't, and what I wanted more of, enough that I was willing to pay for it.

I know myself well enough to know exactly the point when I determined for certain that my time as an EQ player was coming to an end. It was right after EQ released yet another expansion to great fanfare, and I realized I just couldn't afford to buy another one. I resolved to play what I had, that the original game plus two paid expansions should be plenty to keep me occupied for at least a while. The problem was that all roads seemed to lead to this new expansion and the new gameplay features that came with it. The marketing push was quite heavy and I found myself resenting it. By the time my next monthly EQ payment became due, I'd already decided I was done with the game and was actively looking for something else to play.

I didn't come back to EVE right away. Instead I played dumb but fairly fun little games like solitaire, poker, and even a sword and sorcery Java thing called Adventure Quest for a few months. None of the other MMOG's I checked out fired my interest enough to bother even trying them. I found myself purchasing games like "Rise of Nations", "Civilization", and "Runaway", but none of these held my interest long. And then, one day, I was leafing through a video game magazine and saw an ad for EVE.

It was like the proverbial light bulb winked on. I remembered how I'd loved the concept, the graphics, and the gameplay, but kept getting my ass kicked. I also remembered that I'd made some colossally huge mistakes during my first time playing and that, thanks to major fines levied by CONCORD for transporting contraband, my original character was several million ISK in the hole. I decided that the best way to try EVE again would be to do the free trial again with a brand-new character and just completely start over from scratch.

In all honesty, I was still wary. Remembering my first experience, I expected to be blown away with regularity again, but I figured that since I knew it was likely to happen perhaps I could at least prevent it from happening as frequently. The first thing I decided to do, before I even signed up and created a character, was read...everything. I read the entire 300+ page collected backstory, then the entire player guide. I went to the forums and read plenty there as well, especially the stuff intended for new players, where I discovered Eve University. Armed with all this mostly new knowledge, I then signed up for the free trial and created a new character.

I noticed the difference right away. The gatecampers were gone. I discovered that this was probably due to the introduction of "Warp to 0", which had been one of the many improvements implemented while I was gone. After screwing around for a few days, mainly just checking things out and watching the conversation in the "Rookie" chat, I decided to join E-Uni and get started on really getting good at playing this game. I've never looked back since.

It's been around four months now, and I've never regretted my decision to sign up for an entire year after only a couple of weeks of playing. Sure, I've had issues with certain corps (one in particular ;)) and their play styles, but never with being a player of this game. It's been tough, even frustrating at times, but never boring and always fun. Unlike EQ, I've never not wanted more.

That's really the best thing about EVE, the thing I tell people when they ask me why I play this game. It always keeps me interested, engaged, and wanting more. When you think about it, that's really the best compliment you can pay to any entertainment media: It keeps you wanting more.

And speaking of wanting more, it's time to go change my skill training and maybe take on a few more missions...

Happy 4th birthday, EVE.

Ramping Up...

...it's actually getting easier.

Using some of the techniques I've learned in the reading for the Agony Unleashed Basic PvP Class, I've significantly increased speed and the number of the NPC mission ships I've been taking out. Of course, not all of these methods translate as effectively to PvE as they do to PvP, but many do and I've definitely noticed a difference. I've still got well over a week before my class, but I have a feeling (read: hope) that I'll be back to flying a battlecruiser and Level 3 missions before then.

Also, in a few hours, I'll finish training Medium Hybrid Turret V. This is a good thing as it not only gives me a little more advantage in combat just in general but also opens other skills I've wanted to train, such as those that will enable me to use Advanced ammo.

Right now, though, I will admit that I'm having a lot more fun flying Level 2 missions in a Thorax again than I expected to, even though I am looking forward to getting back to where I was a few weeks ago. I guess it's always more fun when you kick more ass and I seem to be doing that more and more all the time now. It just seems to be getting more and more fun to play this game.

Cool.

Cruisin'...

The last few days in EVE have been exceptionally flawless technically, even if I did lose another Thorax. In fact, it was a miscalculation on my part, an inaccurate assessment of my survival risks. Getting another Thorax fitted, ready to run missions, and insured at Bronze Level basically wiped me out financially, so I've been running Level 2 missions and I'll probably continue to for a while. In the meantime, however, my three AU Basic PvP Class-ready frigs and all the extra mods I bought for them are still sitting at the staging station, waiting for the next time the class will be held, in slightly less than two weeks. Of course, this time I'll be ready, my net connection will be ready, and I won't be living on pain medication...all of which are very good things.

I had an interesting in-game conversation earlier today with someone who's a pirate, but who I don't think is a Privateer about the pros and cons of the recent wardec nerf. This person apparently feels it's going to hurt the game, while I feel what CCP did was exactly the opposite, an action taken to protect the game and its accessibility to new players. To be honest, I really don't want to get back into this topic full-bore as I think I've covered it and stated my opinion pretty well, but I will say this. something else I've said here before, but which I don't think enough players understand is key here:

First and foremost, EVE is not a game, but entertainment media, a commercial product which is intended to make a profit for the company that creates it, CCP. If EVE succeeds in this, it will continue to grow and improve...if not, it will wither and die. This has nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, to do with the actual quality of the game or how much we love it as players. It has everything to do with basic economic reality: If it sells, it lives, and if it doesn't, it dies.

In this way, it's really no different from the business I'm in, or trying to be in, anyway. As regular readers have probably picked up from my references, I'm a radio talk show host. The kind of show I do is very specialized, especially intended for a specific kind of listener but also designed to be accessible to everyone who cares to take the time to listen. In order for me to be successful in doing this professionally, I need three things:

First, I need to be good. In fact, I need to be better than most. I am.

Second, I need someone in the business who thinks I'm good enough to hire. That, I've got.

The third part is harder: a media company that's willing to take a chance on funding a genre of radio that's largely untested in the commercial market. Finding that is the job of the guy who will be my boss, and it's finding the right business partner that's what's really taking the time here.

To translate this into EVE terms, let's start with this reality that every professional mediamaker of any stripe understands:

Media consumers are unbelievably fickle. The average gamer (online or otherwise), properly motivated, will be just as quick to bail on any given game they lose interest in as the average radio listener will be to bail on any given show that they find boring or less interesting than another. The real difference here, if there can honestly be said to be one, is only in the amount of time it takes for the consumer to "change the channel". The way to combat this is in radio is the very same as it is in gaming: Generating and maintaining a high level of consumer loyalty.

I remember a conversation I once had with a radio professional about getting myself hired in the business, at a major radio provider. He told me something that proved to be right on the money, that his company would be happy to put me on the air as a guest on their shows because I'm damn good, but he doubted that they'd ever offer me a real job because I was just too different from everything that had gone before...in other words, as a guest I was attractive because I was new and interesting (not to mention free to the company), but they'd never actually hire me, because I was TOO new and interesting. How fucked up is that?

This kind of thing definitely applies to EVE as well. Many people download the trial, but how many actually subscribe as a result and how many decide for themselves that EVE just isn't for them, that it's just TOO new and different to actually invest money in? When one looks at the playerbase of WoW and compares it against EVE's, it's pretty clear that EVE caters to a playerbase as specialized as the listenerbase which my show and network do, with much the same results. It doesn't take a game with almost 35 times the playerbase as EVE's to tell me what I've known for years: Media which strays less from the familiar, the tried and true, will be more successful than that which breaks new ground.

So how does a host like me or a game like EVE, both of which break new ground in our respective fields, develop loyal consumer bases? First, we gotta get them to the door...things like free trials and active mainstream and guerrilla promotional activities help with that. Once we got 'em at the door though, we gotta keep 'em there.

For me, as for EVE, you either like what you get or you don't. You like, you stay, you don't, you leave and move on...if enough people stay, it's a success, if not...

In both cases, it all happens early. Chances are, you'll know if you like me and my radio show after just a little while of listening, and a similar amount of time is needed for a new player to figure out if EVE is for them or not. That's why, just as it's critical for me to make my show as accessible to someone who's never heard it before as it is to someone who listens every week, so too does EVE need to be as accessible and fun to play for someone who's been playing for two hours as it is for someone who's been playing for two years. Different play styles, different reasons for listening, sure, but it all has to meet in the middle to accomplish the key goal of both: entertainment...without that, neither can succeed.

That's why CCP needed to do what they did to the wardecs, to protect the game and keep it interesting and fun for players of all skill and experience levels. It's not just good for the game, it's absolutely essential for its continued survival. To all you PvP purists complaining about this, I ask you to consider this question and answer it honestly, whether publicly or just for yourself:

Which would you rather have: A game that has safe, protected areas for new players to learn the game or a game which loses money and eventually goes under, rendering all players equal in the complete and total loss of a pastime we all love?

I know what my answer to that question is, and I hope yours is much the same.

I Knew It...

...I really should remember to double-check that my bill payments go through.

For some reason, my scheduled electronic payment to the broadband company didn't go through when it was supposed to. So, what do they do? Do they send me a email or a notice in the mail that there's a problem? No. They simply wait and then put my account in "Overdue" status, which I don't discover until I actually log into their site and check my account myself.

What I've discovered about this is that now what they do when you're in "Overdue" status, but not enough in arrears to actually cancel your account and demand their equipment back, is they turn your broadband from a torrent into a tiny dribble in terms of bandwidth, just enough to get your email and do some slow websurfing, but not much else. This is what they'd apparently just done to me, just a few hours before class time. As you might imagine, trying to play EVE like this is next to impossible...trying to play EVE and run Ventrilo at the same time for the class IS, apparently, indeed impossible, proven by the repeated crashings of both programs when I tried to use to use them together.

The next day, once I'd called the company and made the payment by phone (a pain in the ass process by itself) and then rebooted the cable modem and my computer, it was like magic.
Everything worked fine...better than fine, fact. EVE seems to be running better, more smoothly, than it ever has before, and that's even with streaming audio running so I assume the same will be true with Ventrilo even though I haven't actually had the chance to test that as yet. My email, browsers, etc. all seem lightning-quick. Contrary to my initial assessment, I now believe that all the trouble I was having in EVE was completely due to this problem.

Can you imagine if other utilities operated this way? I mean, imagine if when your electric bill was a day overdue all of a sudden your lights and television started browning out? Or if when the gas bill was coming due your house would only be heated intermittently until your account was paid in full? Yet, somehow, I guess because there can really be no rational argument made that Internet access is an essential service (regardless of what we who are avid online gamers might think) in the same way as heat or power are, these companies. at least the one that services my area of New Jersey anyway, apparently feels free to just turn down the tap to almost zero without notice...I guess they figure, rightly so in my case, that you'll become so frustrated that you'll do everything you can just to get the thing working properly. It may eventually gain you the desired results, but one unintended result that will almost surely occur are plenty of really pissed off customers...I'm quite sure I'm hardly the only high-usage Cablevision customer who's missed her payment date by a day or two and has had to deal with this crap.

Ok, enough bitching about my ISP...hey, I know! Let's talk about EVE! What a novel idea! So, last night, atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed, I zipped around Gallente and Caldari space with nary a technical care in the world. It was quite literally the best, most lag/glitch-free experience I've had playing EVE since I started. Deeply weird...I go from my very worst EVE experience ever right to my very best EVE experience ever with no in-between. I can't wait to see what it's like when I fire it up in a little while.


And of course, I'll be even more ready (if that's at all possible) for the next AU Basic PvP class. ;)

Un-Fucking-Believable!

It figures, doesn't it?

Finally class time rolls around and the EVE client decides it's going to start crashing repeatedly, and Ventrilo decides to join in the festivities by suddenly dropping it's connection, too. I spent half an hour trying to keep them running, but I couldn't understand anything the instructor was saying...by the time I finally connected for more than a few seconds at a time, I'd missed a lot. So, hopefully they'll let me take it again next time they hold it. It got to the point where it wasn't fair anymore to the class or to me. Hopefully next time it'll be better.

Not happy...not happy at all. It's certainly not AU's fault, but it isn't mine either, I had no way of knowing this would happen. Personally I suspect my ISP may have had something to do with this so I'm hoping that by the time their next class rolls around this will have been resolved.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...